The President stated he couldn't pull a "Jedi mind meld" on Republicans.
The Obama administration appears to be heading to an early end after president Obama foolishly mixed references from the venerable Star Wars and Star Trek franchises. “I can’t perform a Jedi mind meld on the GOP,“ said President Obama, eliciting gasps and more than a few screams from the assembled audience.
“Take it back!” shouted press secretary Jay Carney. “Dear God, man! Take it back!” However, the damage was already done. Twitter quickly flooded with snarky and sarcastic tweets, mocking the president for not being cool enough to know the difference between science fiction franchises. Republicans quickly pounced upon the president’s gaffe and discovered it was a direct violation of several US laws.
Already, top Republicans are drawing up criminal charges against the president. “Much like Greedo in Star Trek IV: The Journey Home, we’re going to fire first here,” said one top-ranking Republican.
The criminal charges being brought against Obama include unlawful mixing of science fiction franchises, damaging irreplaceable American culture, and looking foolish on the Internet. If convicted, the president could face up to a year in prison and a $10,000 fine. “Emperor Obama’s reign as the leader of the United Federation of Planets is over,” said another Republican.
While Democrats are expected to fight any articles of impeachment that reach the House of Representatives, many are admitting that there’s little they can do. “He messed up,” said one Democratic congressional aide. “He’s deader than a womp rat shot by a phaser set to kill.”