Friday, November 21, 2014 • Afternoon Edition • "Cyclops was right."

Marvel "52" Teaser Reveals New Business Venture

Written by Jude Terror on Tuesday, March 05 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Marvel

Marvel promises to "deliver [...] cuts above the rest" at SXSW!



Source: Press Release

Last week, Marvel released two teasers, one featuring "52" tally marks, and the other featuring various character names clustered into the shape of a number "1". This week, Marvel have sent out basically the same teasers again, this time with the promise that the teasers will be explained at this weekend's SXSW convention. However, we think we have enough clues to solve the puzzle: Marvel is entering the pizza delivery business.

This latest teaser from Marvel, pictured below, promises that Marvel will "deliver" and that Marvel is "cuts above the rest." Cuts, of course, are another word for slices, which is the traditional way to divide a pizza. Clearly, Marvel, tired of whooping the losers at DC comics and looking for some real competition, is planning to go up against pizza industry giants like Dominos, Pizza Hut, and Papa Johns.

"I'm the best I am at what I do," said Marvel's new chief delivery boy, Wolverine, "and what I do is deliver pizzas in fifty-two minutes or less."

Asked whether customers will get their money back if the pizza does not arrive in fifty-two minutes, however, Wolverine would not commit to the discount. "Maybe," he told us. "Or maybe you get my claws in your belly, bub. Wanna find out?"

It seems that Marvel may need to work on their customer service skills if they want this new venture to work out.

Of course, it is always possible that the teasers we have seen in the last two weeks instead point to the return of Marvel Comics Presents, Marvel's old anthology series that would feature a Wolverine story on one side of the book, and then a story with a character less awesome than Wolverine if you sort of turned the book over and flipped it upside down. Some might say that the number 52 hints at a weekly comic, and the lists of characters and creators in the "1" teasers suggest an anthology series. The use of the word "first" points to Marvel's original Marvel Comics Presents, according to some, and the "Marvel Gets Mad" teaser, along with the phrase "cuts above the rest" and Marvel's need to include the surly mutant in every single comic they print indicates that it will be a Wolverine-centric series.

Personally, we feel that the pizza delivery scenario is far more likely, but that won't stop us from crowing about how right we were if it turns out to be either one, because comics news is all about keeping score, baby.

Here's the press release, short as it is:

COUNT ON MARVEL TO ALWAYS DELIVER!

Cuts above the rest…








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About the Author - Jude Terror


Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably.  Ironically, our webmaster, whose website skills know no end, has very little understanding of social networks or how they work.  Regardless, you can find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, but would probably have the most luck just emailing him.

 


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