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Marvel Hires Pro-al-Qaeda Blogger To Pen New Captain America Series

Written by GHERU on Tuesday, March 05 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Marvel Hires Pro-al-Qaeda Blogger To Pen New Captain America Series

The title is planned to be released in conjunction with the 2014 movie Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Source: none, I'm just bored

Shockwaves were felt all over the internet this morning as Marvel decided to follow in DC’s footsteps and by announcing that the House Of ideas had signed Azir al- Muhammad, noted blogger and avid supporter of al-Qaeda, to write a new Captain America book entitled Captain America: F*ck Yea!.  Marvel’s spokesperson, Lucas Siegel, stated that the popular blogger had a built in loyal fan-base that the company would be stupid to ignore based solely on the writer’s political leanings.  Stating that:

It is not the position of Marvel to base hiring decisions on whether or not we agree with a creator's views.

Although publication is over a year away that did not stop the blogosphere from blowing up with righteous indignation.
At least, that’s what this writer assumed would happen, but instead what was found was a calm and collected internet where everyone went about their day.  When reached for comment, conservative spokesman, Tucker Carlson, had this to say:
Of course my initial reaction was to be angry.  I had a whole OP-Ed ready to go but then I remembered how all those namby-pamby Liberals acted when Orson Scott Card was hired to write Superman and I realized that it would be hypocritical of me to care what this guy's politics are as long as he doesn’t put them in the book.  
It’s only natural for us to initially lash out at what we don’t agree with, but what makes Conservatives different from Liberals (other than the obvious) is that we hold ourselves to the same standards we hold everyone else, and for us to get bent out of shape over an anti-American propagandist writing Captian America would be disingenuous, and that is not what we stand for.  Personally, I am sure that even Barry Goldwater would wait in line to see the long rumored Mel Gibson Maccabee film (the story of Hanukkah.)
Carlson went on to explain that earlier this morning, during a conference call with Limbaugh, Beck, Palin, and Chuck Dixon it was decided that the only way for the Right to point out the fallacy of the Left’s argument that a character dedicated to “Truth, Justice, and The American Way” shouldn’t be written by a hate filled bigot would be to stand up and defend Marvel’s right to hire who they want.  When it was pointed out that no one wanted to take DC’s or Card's First Amendment right away and all the protestors were doing was exercising their First Amendment right to speak out and say why they won’t be spending their speech money on the comic book, Beck replied by saying, “Anyone who doesn’t buy Card’s Superman is a communist who hates America and the Freedom of Speech.” Before Beck could continue, Limbaugh sat on him and told him to stop acting like a child.
Limbaugh went on to discuss how he would encourage all of his listeners to go out and buy Captain America: F*ck Yea! The day it comes out, except for the Scottie Young baby variant, Rush admitted to being “sick of them” and how he wishes Mr. Young would work on more than just the Oz books.
In all honesty, this reporter expected much worse from the Right, and I am greatly impressed with their maturity and consistency when it comes to the issue of writer’s politics and their products.  Personally, I disagree with the stance as I’ll probably never voluntarily give Mel Gibson any of my money again, but I respect their position and self control.
Captain America: F*ck Yea! Written by Azir al- Muhammad with art by Ethan Van Sciver is due out the same week as Uncanny Avengers #7; May 7th, 2014.


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About the Author - GHERU

RU, or as he’s known in the writers’ room: the cute one, is relatively unappreciated in his time.  RU’s YouTube show, RUviews is watched by literally multiple people every month and his Outhouse articles have helped line many a bird cage.  Before you send RU a message, he knows that there are misspelled words in this article, and probably in this bio he was asked to write.  RU wants everyone to know that after 25+ years of collecting he still loves comic books and can’t believe how seriously fanboys take them.  RU lives in Akron Ohio (unfortunately) with WIFE, ‘lilRuRu, and the @DogGodThor.  You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, & even Google+ (if anyone still uses that).


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