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Is DC Comics' Family Friendly Website Secretly a Doomsday Weapon?

Written by Jude Terror on Saturday, March 09 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Is DC Comics' Family Friendly Website Secretly a Doomsday Weapon?

Do we even need to ask?

Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

Yesterday, DC Comics launched the DC Comics Fan Family Blog, an online hub for comic-loving parents who want to share the DC Comics experience with their children. Presumably, visitors to the site would find kid-friendly comics, games, activities, and craft projects. We decided to check the site out for ourselves, and we were shocked by what we found: pages upon pages of graphic imagery of a brutally violent or disgustingly sexual nature. The very first image is of Superboy Prime ripping the limbs off of members of popular child characters The Teen Titans. This is followed by images of Batman and Catwoman engaging in lewd sexual behavior while "keeping the masks on." We reached out to DC head honcho Dan Didio to get to the bottom of this scandal.

Outhouse: Is this some kind of sick joke?

Dan Didio: What are you talking about?

OH: This website. This isn't appropriate for children!

DD: Why not?

OH: (showing Didio an image, prominently featured on the site, of the Joker having his face removed) You can't honestly think this is something kids should be looking at. What's wrong with you?

DD: Well, if you really want to know...

We didn't have all day, so we cut the interview short. Unfortunately, this left us with even more questions.

Is this a deliberate ploy by DC Comics to corrupt the youth of America? Is Dan Didio an artificial human being, grown to a maturity in a laboratory, having never experienced a childhood of his own? Are their other genetic mutants working in the upper echelon of the comic book industry? Has DC finally run out of childhoods to rape in their current, aging fanbase, and are they using this website as a sort of childhood harvesting doomsday device which will replenish their supply? The answer to all those questions is probably "yes.'

We reached out to Geoff Johns for comment, but his secretary told us he had retreated into some kind of impenetrable cocoon and would not emerge for another 90 days, when he had completed metamorphosis, powered by the souls of a million innocent children. Allegedly.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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