Elektra Handles Wolverine's Prostate Exam in "Savage Wolverine"
- Written by ThanosCopter on Monday, March 11 2013 and posted in News and Satire
The ninja assassin appears to be raising awareness of prostate cancer in a variant cover.
Source: CBR
Wolverine has been many things in recent years: teacher, murderer, filicidal maniac, Avenger, attempted murderer, and lap dog. But now he's taken a new role: prostate exam spokesperson.
A new variant cover for an upcoming arc of Savage Wolverine appears to show Wolverine on the receiving end of a prostate exam, which is being performed by ninja assassin Elektra.
"Yaarrgghhhlllllllgghhhh!" said Wolverine in response to the exam. "Yoooowwwwlllllrrrgghhhh!"
Fans have long wondered exactly what state Wolverine's prostate is in, and now it appears we'll finally get an answer. Medical professionals recommend that males over the age of fifty receive a prostate exam at least once every few years, with more frequent exams needed if there's a history of prostate problems.
We asked Zeb Wells about the story behind the prostate exam, but he just seemed sickened by the question and hung up. So here's a quote that we made up that explains the story. "The story begins with Wolverine having flow issues. He decides to discuss his problems with his BBF Spider-Man, and the two of them seek out Elektra, whom they heard gives great prostate exams from Daredevil. It's a three part story and is pretty self-contained."
Despite the public service-esque tone of the story, some aren't convinced that there isn't a more sinister agenda to the story. "Really, Electra is just acting as the extension of the comic book creator," said Wolverine expert Christian Hoffer. "All Marvel creators want to insert something in Wolverine's ass, but they find themselves frustratingly unable to thanks to his position as a fictional character that doesn't exist." It should be noted that Hoffer has a deep-seated hatred of the character, stemming from his mancrush of the equally fictional character Cyclops.
Other fans also reacted negatively to the cover. "Elektra is doing to Wolverine's anus what Humberto Ramos's artwork does to my eyes," said Melvin Herman, a comic book reader from Boston, MA. "The look on Wolverine's face is something I'm very familiar with as a longtime reader of his work, which i buy all of despite complaining constantly about it on the internet."
For an actual description of the upcoming Wolverine/Elektra/Spider-Man story, be sure to pop over to CBR, where they talk about that sort of thing. However, we'll continue to keep you updated about Wolverine's prostate as we receive more news.
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About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
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