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Movie Rumors: Lindelhof Won't Spoil Star Trek: Into Darkness, Nightcrawler Will Return in X-Men: Days of Future Past

Written by El Presidente on Tuesday, March 12 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Movie Rumors: Lindelhof Won't Spoil Star Trek: Into Darkness, Nightcrawler Will Return in X-Men: Days of Future Past

More industry credited trade scoops from the hottest latino-themed Hollywood gossip column on the web, CubanoReview!

Source: Various, Linked Below

El Presidente here, reporting from inside the papal conclave in Vatican City. Why? Because I like the cardinals' style, comrades! Holding top secret meetings and releasing spoilers via colored smoke signal? El Presidente is all over that, baby!

In todays industry gossip news, LA Times' Hero Complex blog has an interview up with Star Trek: Into Darkness writer and producer Damon Lindelhof. In the interview, Lindelhof breaks with industry tradition and refuses to spoil the movie's villain for the sake of providing cheap unique hits for gossip websites. That jerk.

"They know that if I said it to them,” Lindelhof told the Times, “they would have a five-second rush of exhilaration followed by four months of being completely and totally bummed out."

"Being spoiled would be more disappointing than watching the finale of LOST," Lindelhof should have probably added.

Doesn't Damon Lindelof understand that spoilers are not the property of any one man? They are the property of the people, to be shared via the people's gossip websites. How else are the people supposed to keep score?

The capitalist pig did explain his rationale, saying, "You’re Kirk, you’re Spock, you’re McCoy, so if they don’t know who the bad guy is going to be in the movie, then you shouldn’t know. It’s not just keeping the secret for secrecy’s sake. It’s not giving the audience information that the characters don’t have."

Sure, keeping spoiler-free may make watching the movie more enjoyable, but it wastes valuable time, comrades, time before the movie comes out that fanboys could spend bitching about something they haven't even seen yet! The right to bitch about movies that haven't come out is part of America's stupid imperalistic Constitution, or at least I assume it is. I wouldn't be caught dead reading that capitalist rag.

The point is that Lindelhof is infringing on the rights of fanboys, and, more importantly, breaking the rules of Hollywood. The people demand to know who the hilariously named actor Benedict Cumberbatch is playing in this movie. Many believe that Cumberbatch will play Khan, but the studio denies these rumors, just like the CIA denied working with the Mafia in their failed attempt to overthrow my rightful leadership of the Republic of Cuba.

The truth will be revealed eventually, and it would be a shame if that revelation came from watching the movie instead of reading about it in a snarky gossip column, wouldn't it? That's why your friend El Presidente asked original series' Captain KirkWilliam Shatner, for his opinion on who the villain will be. Below is exclusive video of Shatner's response:

In other news, it appears that my personal favorite mutant, Nightcrawler, will be making a return to the X-Men franchise.  James McAvoy confirmed Alan Cumming's involvement in an interview with Heat Radio via X-Men Films, adding yet another character to the already bloated cast.  I've always loved the movie version of Nightcrawler.  Why?  Because he's just like me!  We're both Catholic and we both tried to assassinate the U.S. President.  The only difference is that I succeeded!

Who's laughing now, JFK?

Well, it's certainly not The Outhouse, which now finds itself on multiple Secret Service watch lists.

Comrades, I vow that I will not rest until I have blown apart Hollywood's wall of secrecy like a Russian nuclear ballistic missile, so stay tuned to CubanoReview for more industry credited trade scoops.


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About the Author - El Presidente

El Presidente gave up his position as President and Prime Minister of Cuba, as well as First Secretary of Cuba's Communist Party, in 2008 in order to concentrate on his true love: Hollywood gossip reporting. Forming the rumor website Cubano Review, El Presidente built a name for himself based on over THREE DOZEN industry credited trade scoops. Unfortunately, capitalist American trade embargoes have rendered unreachable from within the United States, forcing El Presidente to syndicate his articles to The Outhouse, which flies under the radar of the American oligarchy thanks to most leaders assuming it is a scat porn site, which, to be fair, is basically true.


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