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Marvel Admits Age of Ultron Ending Won't Change Universe Forever

Written by Jude Terror on Wednesday, March 13 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Marvel Admits Age of Ultron Ending Won't Change Universe Forever

The publisher said the ending will be "pretty cool," but "not a game changer or anything."

Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

Marvel Comics showed a rare glimpse of humility today when Joe Quesada admitted in an interview with that the ending of Age of Ultron would be less than earth-shattering, and would probably not change the Marvel Universe forever.

"Look, I think it's a good ending," said the beleaguered Chief Creative Officer, "but it's not going to break the internet in half or anything like that. It will make sense in the story, and readers will probably enjoy it. Beyond that, you know, it's really a matter of opinion."

The statement comes after it was announced last week that Quesada had insisted on drawing the final few pages of the last issue of the event comic himself in order to keep the ending a secret from those looking to spoil it, such as his secretary, Rich Jonston in a fake mustache. Marvel's solicitations, released this morning, still held to the company line that the ending would be groundbreaking, saying, "To save the planet Earth – and maybe the entire galaxy! – the heroes of the Marvel Universe made the most controversial decision of their lives. The results have brought disaster the likes of which they have never seen before."

"Well, maybe not the most controversial," admitted Quesada. "Maybe like the eighth most controversial, at least since 2003 or so, which is when we started keeping track of these sorts of things."

Fans met the revelation with a surprising acceptance.

"It's refreshing," commented Eileen Bradshaw, a Marvel Comics reader from Blackburn, MO. "I can go into this with the proper expectations now, and I won't be disappointed."

"With Avengers vs. X-Men," she continued,"I literally spent over $400 in survivalist supplies the week before the issue came out. Bottled water, canned goods, flashlights, batteries... you know, that kind of stuff. Then it ended up being that Cyclops kills Professor Xavier. I mean, who didn't see that coming?"

Saying that a comic book is going to change an entire fictional universe 'forever' is a bold claim to make when most comic universe status quos get rebooted at least every summer with the latest super-mega-crossover event. Marvel's step toward more realistic advertising may finally cause the medium as a whole to be taken more seriously, which would be a boon for readers, long burdened by the image of being socially-retarded nerds dedicating their lives to a silly children's hobby.

"I would be much more comfortable reading picture books aimed at twelve year old boys with ridiculously-dressed, muscle-bound superheroes beating the crap out of each other in public," one adult reader who wished to remain anonymous for obvious reasons told us, "if it wasn't for all the hyperbole."

So this new policy of frankness and honesty may have some dramatic effects.

"Saying that the ending to Age of Ultron won't change the Marvel Universe forever," explained Quesada, "will change the Marvel Universe forever!!!"

Baby steps, Joe. Baby steps.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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