Written by Jude Terror
on Friday, March 15 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Fans of toxic characters Stephanie Brown and Cassandra Cain should take a cue from these Red Bull blackmailers if they want better results.
Police in Austria are investigating claims by the Red Bull company that they are being brownmailed by a group of feco-terrorists. The plot? The constipirators are threatening to sneak into supermarkets and replace all the cans of redbull with cans that contain poo. Salzburg police report that there have been no confirmed cases of contamination, only threats, but it's a powerful message to send nonetheless. There is no word on what the pootesters actually want from the delicious energy drink manufacturer, but we can confirm that the threats were made with hilarious Austrian accents, like in an eighties action movie.
"Give us da money, or we vill put das poopen unt da Red Bulls!"
Kind of makes Waffles for Stephanie, a campaign that encouraged readers to mail breakfast foods to Dan Didio's office, seem like amateur hour by comparison, doesn't it? Perhaps fans of the supposedly "toxic" characters should take to their local comic book stores and smear fecal matter on DC comics until Didio and his cronies agree to allow the characters to appear in DC comics again. They could put poo particles onto copies of Batgirl, which features red-headed harlot Barbara Gordon instead of the preferred Stephanie or Cass. Really, poo could be used to contaminate any of DC's comic books for this purpose, except, of course, for Geoff Johns' Justice League, which would probably be improved by the addition.
The Outhouse will keep you updated on any further poo-related developments, because, well, we're called The Outhouse for Christ's sake.
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.
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