*This article contains spoilers for the Young Justice Finale
With the final episode of Young Justice and Green Lantern: The Animated Series airing yesterday, one would expect the offices of DC Comics, home of Green Lantern, to be silent and somber. Shockingly, that was not the case. Instead, according to reports, the office was loud and noisy as passersby and neighbors reported loud music, party horns, and "the sounds of general revelry" coming from inside 1700 Broadway until late in the morning.
“He's dead! He's finally dead!” whooped an ecstatic Bob Harras as he chugged rum punch and dashed streaked through the hallways, referring to the death of popular character Wally West in the Young Justice finale. “Dead. Gone! No more embarrassing questions at conventions! No more whiny emails or message board bitch-fests!"
"I'm so happy I could… mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmwah!" he added as he planted a wet kiss on the lips of Young Justice producer Greg Weisman.
DC head honcho Dan Didio was also witnessed enjoying himself at the party. “Weisman was the perfect writer for the series. With West's fandom crushed in mourning, they'll be too depressed to ask questions about the character at conventions for at least a year. A few of them may give up reading comics for good, and good riddance to them!”
When asked if this would mean more questions about other "toxic" characters like Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, or Donna Troy, Didio feigned ignorance. “Who? Oh, you mean Katana? Yeah, fans can enjoy her in the upcoming Beware the Batman animated series."
"But don't enjoy her too much," warned Didio, making a neck slitting motion with his finger. "Or else, you know…"
He then grabbed Chief Creative Officer Geoff Johns, also visibly jovial, in a massive bear hug.
Some guests at the raucous party felt that the DC executives may have gotten a little bit out of hand. "Around three in the morning, everyone was three sheets to the wind," said Bleeding Cool rumormonger Ricch Johnston, who attended the party as his alter ego, a potted fern in Didio's office. "At that point, a bunch of guys got together and sent a joke email to Ann Nocenti, firing her from Catwoman. They almost pissed themselves laughing."
"Jim Lee in particular was going around telling a lot of off-color jokes," Johnston continued. "'Why aren't there any black creators at DC Comics?' was one joke he was telling anyone who would listen. The punchline was, 'Because we don't like black people.'"
"I didn't think it was very funny," Johnston concluded.
At one point, Johnston admitted that he nearly blew his cover, ruining years of undercover work that has allowed him access to some of DC's juiciest gossip.
"I got caught up in the moment and shouted, 'Yeah, we showed 'em, mates! Die, Bart Allen, Die!'" he told us. "The whole party grew silent and stared at me. 'Did that potted plant just confuse Bart Allen for Wally West?' I thought I was done for."
Luckily, Johnston was able to think quickly. "I just yelled, 'Oblivion for Cassandra Cain!' and everyone went right back to celebrating the death of a beloved character, except Didio, who kept asking, 'who?!' It was a close one."
It's expected that the party could go on for several days, so expect some delays for Justice League of America, Justice League, Phantom Stranger, and Uncanny Avengers to be announced later this week. Yeah, we know DC doesn't publish Uncanny Avengers, but odds are good it'll be delayed again for completely unrelated reasons.