Source: ThanosCopter Newswire
The Outhouse has been known for many things: pissing off comic book creators, getting yelled at by Thomas Jane and generally being an unlikeable website in a sea of unlikeable websites. But a day after the Outhouse put up record traffic numbers due to a fluff piece involving Sir Ian McKellen and Sir Patrick Stewart, the Outhouse added another title: giant killer.
Outhouse owner Robert Morris singlehandedly beat the defending NCAA Men's Basketball Championship Kentucky Wildcats 59-57 in the first round of the National Invitational Tournament. While the battle was a close one, Morris hit two free throws with 8.7 seconds left to knock off the defending champions.
"I really have no clue what's going on," said Morris from his Florida home. "I took a nap and next thing I know, I was trending on Twitter."
While Morris has never been known for his basketball skills, he allegedly managed to put up a 23-10 regular season record in the Northeast Conference, all the while juggling family, job and managing the Outhouse. "I still have no idea what the hell you're talking about," said Morris when asked about how he managed to pass himself off as an NCAA team.
The rest of the Outhouse seem stunned by the upset. "Shut up," said one unnamed Outhouser/UK fan, who declined to be named. "It was a rebuilding year and your jokes aren't funny."
"Johnny Football, Matt Ryan, SEC SEC SEC!", said Outhouse college men's expert The Nacireman, who runs the popular Shirts with Random Triangles football blog.
In response to the stunning upset, Outhouse stock rose to a record high of $0.03 per share, buoyed mainly on the possibility of future endorsement deals when Morris inevitably goes pro. Morris will play either Charlotte or Providence next.
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About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
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