With all of the creative team shakeups at DC lately, many readers have been feeling overwhelmed. Not knowing who is going to be writing the books, or worse, thinking that we know and then having it change before the first issue even hits the stands, makes it difficult for readers to make decisions about which books to follow. In fact, some might say it's easier to just stop reading DC books altogether.
Well, DC executives have heard these complaints, and they have a solution: Musical Chairs.
In most circumstances, the popular children's party game, in which participants dance around a group of chairs, one less than the number of players, in a circle until music stops playing, forcing them to fight for a seat to remain in the game, would be considered a relatively unstable method of making any kind of decision. However, compared to DC's current strategy, it will run like clockwork.
"We wanted to go with a strategy that would be less chaotic," said DC editor in chief Bob Harras. "So rather than randomly pissing off our creators with ridiculous editorial changes or firing them via email, we're going to let the teams be decided by a musical chairs."
"We put a lot of thought into this," he continued. "We considered Hot Potato, Rock Paper Scissors, and even Pin the Tail on the Publicly Fired Creator."
"Ultimately, we found Musical Chairs to be the most effective way to determine a creative team," Harras concluded.
When we suggested that careful planning based on performance, ability, and the specific needs of the properties might be a better solution, Harras just stared at us blankly, and proceeded to scroll through a selection of catchy tunes on his iPod before deciding on "Pop Goes the Weasel" as the best song for the game.
According to sources inside the troubled comics publisher, the games will take place each month, with anywhere from one to five creators being replaced with every issue.
"Damn!" exclaimed superstar artist and bleeding heart liberal Ethan Van Sciver after being beaten out for the last seat by a surprisingly agile Scott Lobdell in the latest round of changes. "I was really getting into my work on Batman: The Dark Knight. Oh well. This will give me more time to argue on Facebook."
Van Sciver's departure will be announced next week on Bleeding Cool., while Lobdell will continue to write approximately 40% of DC's monthly comics.
For fans, the decision is a huge relief.
"Finally, some stability," sighed Elizabeth Brandes, a DC Comics reader from Phoenix, AZ. "Well, more stability. I look forward to being able to read up to two continuous issues by a single creative team on a DC Comic book."
"It will be strange," she added, "but in a good way. Like 'Grant Morrison's Batman strange,' as opposed to 'Morrison's Action Comics strange.'"
For more information on DC's musical chairs, see our articles on Andy Diggle's departure from Action Comics, Tony Daniel's taking over the writing chores on Action Comics, and Joshua Hale Fialkov's departure from Green Lantern Corps.