DC has posted an opening for "Editorial Scheduling Coordinator" for its New York offices. While the job description reads like a typical coordinator for a publishing company, rumor has it that DC is looking for applicants to fill another role in the company. "We're looking for a scapegoat," said one unnamed DC executive. "One that we can basically blame everything on."
According to reports, DC is seeking out a mid-level editorial employee on whom they can blame the company's many failings on. "For example, if a prominent female creator starts accusing editorial of sexism, we blame it on the Editorial Scheduling Coordinator," said the DC executive. "Creative team storms off a title due to editorial interference? Editorial Scheduling Coordinator's fault."
But what about things that happen outside of editorials control? Those will be blamed on the Editorial Scheduling Coordinator too. "If Man of Steel flops in the box office, we're totally pinning that on the new guy," said the executive. "Also, we're having all applicants draft a memo explaining why they personally gave the order to cancel the Young Justice cartoon."
When asked why DC was looking to hire an official scapegoat for the company, the executive explained that Dan Didio, DC's current executive scapegoat, was getting flustered by all the blame. "His bracket took a real hit this weekend," the executive explained. "He's blaming it on getting yelled at by the Internet for The Dark Knight Rises not winning fifteen Oscars. He just doesn't want to get blamed for everything the company does wrong anymore."
The new hire will have to jump into his job in a hurry. "We're getting ready to announce a Before Watchmen/Batman crossover written by JMS and illustrated by Rob Liefeld," the executive said. "And we need someone to blame for not having the common sense to see it was a bad idea."