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Outhouse Has No Jokes About New Scientology Comic Book

Written by Jude Terror on Monday, March 25 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

Outhouse Has No Jokes About New Scientology Comic Book

The irreverent and satirical website finds absolutely nothing funny about the just-announced Battlefield Earth comic by Joe Pruett, Mike Perkins and Laura Villari.

Source: Bleeding Cool

The Church of Scientology has reportedly recruited (not against their will) Joe Pruett, Mike Perkins, and Laura Villari to adapt Scientology founder and hardy seaman L. Ron Hubbard's science fiction novel Battlefield Earth into a comic book, and, hey, we here at The Outhouse think that's just swell. Battlefield Earth is, in our opinion, an exciting and enthralling book by a skilled author, and we honestly can't think of a single funny or negative thing to say about it, most especially not that the book is to science fiction novels what Sharktopus is to science fiction movies.

We would like to reiterate that our support of this project has absolutely nothing to do with an irrational fear that we might be kidnapped from our homes and brought onboard one of the Church of Scientology's reconditioning yachts that sail around the globe inflicting physical abuse and torture on their victims, all for the not bizarre purpose of exorcizing bad Thetans, evil spirits that prevent Scientologists from reaching their full magickal alien potential.

Ha ha ha! Why would we even say that? The church doesn't do that sort of thing.

Seriously, we are really looking forward to this book. Scientology is probably, in our opinion, the best of all religions. I mean, it's just really plausible that human beings are actually the disembodied spirits of space aliens who were brought to the planet Earth and tossed into volcanoes a billion years ago by an evil galactic warlord named Xenu. That is not at all batshit crazy. It's the most rational thing we've personally heard all day, and if you disagree, well, you and we will have problems, mister.

Some of our favorite people are Scientologists. We love Tom Cruise, who is a great actor and not a nuclear grade weirdo, and who absolutely does not pay starlets to marry him to maintain the illusion that he is not an asexual robot. His marriage to Katie Holmes was 100% natural, in our opinion, and she did not need to make a daring nighttime escape from his clutches while he was out of the country in order to save her daughter Suri from a lifetime of intimidation and indoctrination by the Church. We would never say anything like that, because none of it is true.

And no, The Outhouse hasn't been taken over by the Church of Scientology. Just because they tried to take over Clearwater, Florida's government doesn't mean they'd try to quell snarky commentary through bullying and intimidation.

So, we're not even sure what the point of this article is. It could have really been just one sentence, a tweet even, saying that the comic is being made and that's it. It speaks for itself, and everyone is very glad about it, and it will sell like gangbusters, having a positive effect on the careers of Pruett, Perkins, and Villari, who, by the way, are in absolutely no need of rescue from top secret Scientology brainwashing camps.

The Outhouse won't keep you updated on this story because there's nothing else to say about, so, move along now. Nothing to see here.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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