Greetings, comrades! It is I, El Presidente, reporting live from the steps of the United States Supreme Court! Why? Because I support marriage equality! Were you expecting a joke here?
Whenever Mark Millar writes a
movie pitch comic book, it's a forgone conclusion that it will be adapted into a feature film, so no one is surprised that capitalist stalwart 20th Century Fox has snapped up the movie rights for Secret Service, despite only five issues of the comic ever having been released. Matthew Vaughn has already completed the script, and will produce and direct the film. It is set for a 2014 release, which gives the creative team plenty of time to get at least one more issue completed before it hits theaters.
Of course, the announcement begins the most exciting phase of a movie's lifecycle, the casting speculation. In the past year or two, fanboy dreamboat Joseph Gordon-Levitt has replaced Ryan Reynolds and Nathan Fillion as the go-to actor for fanwank casting rumors, and CubanoReview, never missing an opportunity to scoop those bozos at LatinoReview, is proud to be the first rumor column to suggest the possibility that JGL could be cast in the film.
Comrades, I sincerely feel that JGL would be a perfect fit for any number of roles in the movie, and I say this without hesitation despite never having read an issue of it and not knowing any of the characters. JGL is just that good, my friends. He does not even have to play the lead role. There is no shame in being a supporting cast member, as I humbly proved when I played second fiddle to Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Years later, Khrushchev is lucky to be named in the top twenty communist dictators of all time, whereas I run the world's premiere Latino-themed Hollywood gossip website.
In other Hollywood news, Netflix has picked up Sense8, the sci-fi drama from the Wachowskis and J. Michael Straczynski. The online network has ordered ten episodes of the series, but they will be lucky to get two before JMS is distracted by a shiny object and leaves to do something else.
Stay tuned to CubanoReview and The Outhouse for all your movie rumor news, my friends.
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About the Author - El Presidente
El Presidente gave up his position as President and Prime Minister of Cuba, as well as First Secretary of Cuba's Communist Party, in 2008 in order to concentrate on his true love: Hollywood gossip reporting. Forming the rumor website Cubano Review, El Presidente built a name for himself based on over THREE DOZEN industry credited trade scoops. Unfortunately, capitalist American trade embargoes have rendered CubanoReview.com unreachable from within the United States, forcing El Presidente to syndicate his articles to The Outhouse, which flies under the radar of the American oligarchy thanks to most leaders assuming it is a scat porn site, which, to be fair, is basically true.
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