Written by El Presidente
on Saturday, March 30 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
The family friendly star of DC's popular Constinatine comic book will be the main character in the upcoming film by Guillermo Del Toro.
Source: Bleeding Cool
Greetings, socialist brothers! El Presidente here, reporting from inside a large, hollow statue at ComicBookResources' Wondercon Tiki Lounge. Why? Because this news will give you wood, comrades!
Bleeding Cool reports that Guillermo Del Toro announced that John Constantine would be the lead character in his upcoming Justice League Dark movie. Constantine will have blond hair and presumably will not be portrayed by Keanu Reeves. No word on whether Constantine will be British or whether he will smoke cigarettes, and though Del Toro insists that a screenwriter is attached to the project, he refused to name him or her, a classic stalling tactic that I've come to expect from capitalist American filmmakers.
To steal a trick from fellow rumormonger Rich Johnston, I would like to point out that we were the first Hollywood rumor website to say that Del Toro's movie would be Justice League Dark, back in November when those posers at LatinoReview were referring to it simply as a supernatural team movie. Now that the movie is universally recognized as a Justice League Dark film, we'll consider that an industry credited trade scoop, comrades, adding another point in the long-running feud between CubanoReview, the world's premiere Latino-themed movie gossip site, and the less trusted and renowned LatinoReview. That's what it's all about, baby.
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About the Author - El Presidente
El Presidente gave up his position as President and Prime Minister of Cuba, as well as First Secretary of Cuba's Communist Party, in 2008 in order to concentrate on his true love: Hollywood gossip reporting. Forming the rumor website Cubano Review, El Presidente built a name for himself based on over THREE DOZEN industry credited trade scoops. Unfortunately, capitalist American trade embargoes have rendered CubanoReview.com unreachable from within the United States, forcing El Presidente to syndicate his articles to The Outhouse, which flies under the radar of the American oligarchy thanks to most leaders assuming it is a scat porn site, which, to be fair, is basically true.
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