Dan Didio has worked as an executive for DC Comics since 2002, and as the de facto leader of the company in various positions since 2004, but DC announced this morning that Didio's tenure has finally come to an end. Citing DC's dwindling sales in the face of Marvel's Marvel NOW! initiative, editorial mismanagement leading to a stream of popular creators walking off books, and the general ill will of basically all of internet comics fandom, the beleaguered company has terminated Didio's contract, effective immediately, and installed a new Co-Publisher: Pinhead, the popular antagonist from the Hellraiser series of horror movies.
"I will enjoy making you bleed," said the new executive in a prepared statement, "and I will enjoy making you enjoy it."
Though happy to see the despised Didio leave the company, some fans are questioning the wisdom of installing a blatantly evil, demonic Cenobite as the head of a comic book company, suggesting that Pinhead might use comics to cause pain to humanity. "You suffer beautifully," Pinhead told reporters in response, "but I am here for business, not pleasure."
In a refreshing change of pace for DC, which has, in the past, avoided or misdirected fan questions about the editorial direction of the company, Pinhead seems willing to discuss just about any topic.
On whether or not the DCnU would be canceled and the company returned to it's old continuity:
"Dreams are fleeting. Only nightmares last forever!"
On whether the company will respond to fan complaints that their new comics are creative rehashes of the 90s era of Marvel comics:
"Oh come, you can hear its faint echo right now. I'm here to turn up the volume. To press the stinking face of humanity into the dark blood of its own secret heart."
On whether fans will see the return of "toxic" characters Wally West, Cassandra Cain, and Stephanie Brown:
"Save your tears. I'll reap your sorrow slowly. I have centuries to discover the things that make you whimper."
Pinhead's sadistic comments and seemingly flippant attitude toward his own nebulous motives are leading many fans to question whether DC has actually changed directions, or, instead, gone even further down the same path of abuse and hatred toward its readership as before. DC denied the accusations, as well claims that company was using its comics to open an unsealable portal to hell. In addition, some of Dan Didio's closest associates reportedly did not even realize things had changed.
"What?" asked a confused Geoff Johns when told about the change. "What do you mean that's not Dan Didio? I've worked with Dan for a decade now. I think I know my friend when I..."
Johns squinted at Pinhead for a moment. "Oh," he admitted, surprised. "Well, I'll be damned."
"I am offering you a place at my right hand," Pinhead told Johns, extending the same offer to the rest of DC's executive team. "Flesh, power, dominion."
The Outhouse will keep you updated on future developments.
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