Source: ThanosCopter Newswire
Shortly after the absurdly clunky sounding The Superior Foes of Spider-Man ongoing series was announced, Marvel informed writers that all books would be receiving new, significantly longer titles. The company's reasoning? The cost of cover art has become too expensive.
"We're paying an absurd amount of money to artists for their covers," said Joe Quesada, chief something or other of Marvel. "By having book titles take up half the page, cover artists will only do half as much work and therefore will be paid half as much." The new costcutting move is predicted to save Marvel thousands of dollars, which will give Disney stockholders $0.00001 in additional dividends.
Creators had mixed reactions to the news. "I don't know if this is a good idea," said Rick Remender, writer for Captain America Has Armin Zola in His Belly and Uncanny Race-Traitors, Mass Murderers and Aryan Supergods. "The new titles they've assigned to us seems unnecesarily long."
"I love it!" said Frank Cho, writer/artist for Boobs and Butts: Wolverine Edition. "I don't have to draw heads or feet anymore. Just chests and torsos from here on out!"
"I'm a pretty big fan," said Dan Slott, writer of Doc Ock Possesses Spider-Man, Commits Murders and Hits on Little People. "The title reads just like a line of dialogue I just wrote."
"I haven't decided if the new titles are a good idea or not," said Keiron Gillen, writer of Young Superheroes Make Quickly Dated Pop Culture References and Iron Man....IN SPACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCE!!!!!!!!!! "I think there's some potential there. It's just another challenge for writers to conquer."
The cover design department seemed unfazed by the lengthy titles. "They say'Vlad, put titles on comic book covers.' So that what I do," said Vlad Kozinkerkov, junior cover design intern at Marvel. "Did you know they make 6 point font? Technology! So amazing!"
At the end of the day, Marvel feels that the move is a win-win for fans. "People are still going to pick up our books," said Quesada. "Regardless if they're named Ironically Named X-Men Book, You're Only Picking This Book Up to See A Talking Raccoon Shoot Aliens or Fearless Superheroines With Swords, Robot Arms, and Arrows Who May or May Not Kiss Each Other."
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About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
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