Following the release of Age of Ultron #4 yesterday, superstar writer "The Great One" Brian Bendis shocked fans by publicly admitting that the ten issue event comic was not a serious effort, but instead an attempt by the writer to parody his own work. The news comes as a huge relief to readers who had begun to suspect that the Great One had somehow mystically split himself into two separate and autonomous entities, one representing all his good qualities and writing the refreshingly awesome All New X-Men and Uncanny X-Men, and one representing his Avengers Disassembling, Vision-hating, not-like-this-ing dark side, which they worried might commit increasingly more evil atrocities against the Marvel Universe and its characters if allowed to continue its unholy existence.
"I'm really surprised it took people so long to figure out I was intentionally 'Bendising' this comic," said The Great One in an interview yesterday afternoon. "I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious when both the first and second issues had nearly the exact same plot - where absolutely nothing happens."
"When I got those pages in to letter, I said to myself, 'classic Bendis decompression,'" laughed letterer Cory Petit. "I had no idea he was doing that on purpose."
When reached for comment, series artist Brian Hitch reportedly asked, "oh, crap, he was doing that too? Now I don't feel so bad!"
In fact, as The Outhouse moved up the Marvel chain of command, we were unable to find even one person involved in the series who was taking the it seriously. Oddly enough, however, not a single one of them seemed to realize that everyone else was doing the same thing. Joe Quesada, Marvel's Chief Creative Officer, admitted to us that he had totally forgotten about the book two years ago, when he first suggested, as a joke, that the entire series consist of all the heroes doing absolutely nothing of consequence for an entire event comic.
Despite all the obvious evidence, it wasn't until the comical, slapstick death of Black Panther in issue #3, that anyone began to suspect that the comic might be satire. In the slapstick death scene, the Panther, endowed with legendary agility and jungle-catlike reflexes, tripped and fell down a flight of stairs, breaking his neck. Realizing he couldn't keep up this kind of absurdity for ten issues, Bendis decided to come clean following the release of yesterday's issue.
Prior to the revelation, fans were simply becoming frustrated and angered by the comics.
"How stupid do they think we are?" asked OneBornEveryMinute, a message board poster with over 40 posts complaining about the comic on various forums. "There is no one who belives any of this is for realz. This is eaither an alternate universe or a Dallasesque dream sequence. Either way, what the fuq?"
Even staunch Marvel zombie, Marvel Zombie (that's his actual legal name), stated last week that he wouldn't be finishing the series if it continued to stink so egregiously. "Its just too much," Zombie cried on his Tumblr blog. "I'm going to the court house tomorrow to have my name changed to Rob Liefeld Was Right."
The news that "The Great One" was simply making fun of himself allows fans to stop being upset and just go along for the ride.
"I'm just glad it's all over and I can breathe easily," said local Marvel reader Amanda Olmstead, "knowing that the remaining 6 issues of the series (plus any tie-ins and the Director's Cut) I was planning on purchasing despite how bad the book is are just a joke and not meant to be taken seriously at all."
"I mean, phew," she added, wiping metaphorical sweat off her brow. She then proceeded to read an obviously satirical article on a farcical comic book website and become outraged on Twitter.
It's a sign of a great sense of humor when a man can laugh at himself, so we're proud of The Great One for pulling off such an elaborate prank at his own expense. Age of Ultron #4 is in stores now, and the series will continue to delight readers with its hilarious spoof of Brian Bendis' signature style for the next six weeks.