You love comics. You love professional wrestling. Put the two together, and what does it mean?
You're never getting laid!
But besides that, it also means you're gonna be thrilled to hear about Marvel's "Fightin' Fanboys" coverage for Wrestlemania 29. In anticipation of Sunday's big event, in which The Rock will lay down for John Cena, CM Punk will do the job for The Undertaker, Hunter Hearst Helmsley will get his win back from Brock Lesnar, a bunch of talentless underwear models will disgrace the legacies of legendary female wrestlers like Wendi Richter, Luna Vachon, and the Cyndi Lauper in some type of shameless lingerie and pudding match, and... um... P. Diddy of all people will perform a shitty rap song, Marvel has worked with WWE to produce a special video featuring WWE Superstars like The Big Show and Sexual Chocolate.
This marks the latest in a long line of collaborations between Marvel and WWE, as it was announced last year that former WWE Tag Team and Intercontinental Champion "Badd Ass" Billy Gunn would be directing Marvel's upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy movie.
But honestly, we're forced to wonder how this awesome collaboration came about...
(Begin dream sequence of WWE board meeting. Vince McMahon, Triple H, and several faceless WWE Staffers are in attendance...)
Vince McMahon: So Wwwrrrrrestlemania is this Sunday! How are we gonna promote this?
Triple H: I was thinking of maybe showing some ten minute long videos of me spitting water over my bare chest set to nu-metal.
Vince: Well of course we're gonna do that, Hunter, don't be stupid. But what else?
WWE Staffer: How about we get a rap star that hasn't been relevant since 1997 and pretty much sucked even back then?
Vince: Sounds good. Keep going...
Staffer: Mr. McMahon, what if we teamed up with a comic book publisher?
Vince: Comic books?! I haven't read a comic book since they canceled Stephanie Brown! Those sons of bitches!
Staffer: I'm talking about a Marvel comics. You know, the guys who make Spider-Man. We've worked with them in the past, when we licensed the name "Hulk" from them for Hulk Hogan.
Vince: Don't you ever bring up Hulk Hogan in front of me again! You're FFFFFFFIIIIIIRRRREEEDDDDDDDDD!!!
HHH: What if we did something with comic books, Vince?
Vince: That's an amazing idea, Hunter.
Vince: That's why I let you bang my daughter.
HHH: Um, okay...
Vince: You bang her good, Hunter. Bang her good for me, you son of a bitch!
(End dream sequence...)
There's no word yet on which Marvel editor had to "join a very special club" in order to get this collaboration going, but we certainly hope it was Axel Alonso.
Here's the video, followed by the press release:
Marvel’s Fightin’ Fanboys – WrestleMania 29 Coverage!
The Rock, John Cena & More Talk About the Marvel Universe & WWE!
Marvel Entertainment is home to the biggest super heroes in the world like Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, & the Incredible Hulk! But what if these heroes were to go toe to toe against some of the biggest Superstars in the WWE Universe? With WrestleMania 29 just two days away, Marvel.com finds out the answers to questions that fans have been demanding! Who does WWE Champion Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson compare himself to in the Marvel Universe? Who does his opponent John Cena want in his corner for the big event? Just how many “World Strongest Slams” does Mark Henry think it would take to defeat the Hulk? And what comics will the Big Show be reading before the show?
Find out the answers to these questions and more as Marvel’s Fightin’ Fanboys brings you exclusive behind the scenes access to the WWE Universe’s biggest stars – only at Marvel.com [http://marvel.com/videos/watch/2698/fightin_fanboys_wrestlemania_29]!