Sunday, November 23, 2014 • Evening Edition • "Magneto was right."

Creator Worries That Trumped-Up Controversies Will Overshadow Kickstarter Campaign

Written by ThanosCopter on Monday, April 15 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

Creator Worries That Trumped-Up Controversies Will Overshadow Kickstarter Campaign

Greg Pak worries of the future in a one scene artistic interpretation.


Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

ThanosCopter spent his weekend watching fancy-schmancy art films and now wants to write all his articles as super serious, black and white pieces.  We hope you enjoy this presentation of La Prostituée était un Cheval.

Greg Pak sits at his computer, his eyes drained from a night of fitful sleep.  His thoughts are nervous, his pale grey skin clammy, and sweat falls from his forehead onto the keyboard in front of him.  Pak's world is a blur of black and white. 

It is Monday morning and he is about to announce a kickstarter campaign for his new collaboration with Jonathan Coulton, Code Monkey Saves World.  Instead of being jubilant about the launch, Pak is nervous. His RSS feed is curiously empty, free of the controversies that have plagued the comic book industry these last few weeks.

"La Pomme a-t-elle interdit le Carcajou Sauvage pour comporter un garçon Korean dans un costume de morceau de trois?" Pak mutters to himself as hallucinations of gutteral rodents flashes in front of his eyes.  "Je ne parle pas même français," he adds, looking at his reflection in a mirror.   Everything is black.  And white.

He worries about other nightmare scenarios.  Would Bleeding Cool learn that Joe Quesada made a discreet visit to a children's petting zoo? Would Twitter burst aflame upon learning that Wolverine would be declaring himself omnisexual in the next issue of Wolverine and the X-Men? Would Dan Didio accidentally fire himself via email?

Dozens of potential controversies flashed through his head, each one worse than the last. Would DC publish Superman's Long Underwear Tantrum Special without realizing its initials was SLUTS? Would Stan Lee launch a diatriabe about Canadian naval officers, alienating approximately .00000001% of the comic book community? Would Iceman finally come out his closet and earn the ire of Republicans across the United States?

A glass shatters on the floor.  It is almost 9 AM. 

Would someone finally have an issue with gay blowjobs in comics? Would some creator melt down publicly on Twitter? Would a publisher start releasing comics with promotional butt plugs and dildos?

Pak nervously watched as the seconds counted down to 9:00 AM, his Twitter feed dangerously quiet. Finally, the large grandfather clock sitting in front of his clock begins to chime.  A single horse pops out from an intricate stable and begins to somberly neighs the hours.

Pak hits send on his email, visibly relaxed as the email finds its way to dozens of journalists' inboxes.  His torture is over.  Now all the sites will cover his news.

Then, a CNN news alert flashed on his television screen. "Breaking News: President Obama Declares that Iron Man 'Could Easily' Defeat Batman in One on One Fight," a newscaster declares in English.

Pak drops to his knees.  "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he cries as his computer catches fire, overloaded by dozens of bloggers rushing to deride and defend the American president.  Overhead, the grandfather clock strikes 9:01 and then falls silent.

FIN.





Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:




Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:


About the Author - ThanosCopter


ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
 

 


More articles from ThanosCopter
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!