Misogynists have had a rough time lately in the comic book industry. As the geek girl blogosphere has gained so much prominence in the last few years, you can barely stuff a woman in a refrigerator anymore without drawing the ire of angry feminists all over the internet. Bleeding Cool's Rich Johnston has noticed this trend, and he's not keeping quiet about it. In a recent article examining how DC Comics has ruined it's product line with the Nu52 reboot, Johnston makes the following astute observation about the rising number of female creators at DC:
They also started out with one female writer, writing one-and-a-half books. They now have managed to increase that to three female writers, writing five books. If that increase keeps up in three years, all the New 52 will be written by women…
Shocking stuff. Of course, as the Media Research Center addressed in a scathing editorial earlier this morning, comics are already in danger of becoming a haven for society-ruining homosexuality. Must we now add equality for women to the growing list of reasons comic books are destroying the fabric of American society?
If Johnston's predictions are true, what will the DC Universe look like in three years? Will all the stories be about tampons and chocolate? Will female heroes stop implausibly dressing like 1980s prostitutes while engaging in dangerous physical battles with world-threatening menaces? Will mainstream comics suddenly become appealing to people other than twelve-year-old boys trapped in the overweight bodies of forty-year-old men? Will 90% of comic books portray men as one-dimensional sex objects, alienating scores of potential readers?
Men, it's time to stand up and fight for what we believe in. Too long have we allowed women to erode the foundations of our culture. First, they wanted the right to vote. Next, they took away our beloved sexual harassment in the workplace. And now, they're taking our comics.
Just because women make up half of the world's population, does that mean they should have the same opportunities as men to work in the comic book industry? Just because women are as smart, creative, and talented as men, does that mean they're just as qualified to write stories about people in tights punching each other? Just because women read comics too, does that mean they deserve to read books written by other women who might offer a unique perspective that men are not usually able to?
I think we can all agree that the answer to all of those questions is a resounding "no."
It's time to tell women that we're not gonna take it anymore. It's time to stand up on the rooftop and tell the world: "I am man. Hear me ro..."
What's that? Oh, sorry, honey. Yes, dear. Of course. I'll do that right away.
Gotta go, fellas. My wife wants me to do the dishes, and I don't want to keep her waiting. But think about what I said, brothers. It's time we took a stand for what we believe in.
Oh, and don't tell my wife I wrote this article.