THE INTERNET – Hot off the heels of a spectacularly uneventful week, the writing staff of The Outhouse - the internet’s first, best, and only destination for quality Dilbert analysis – was dismayed at what they found waiting for them in their mailboxes on Monday morning:
“THAT’S IT?” screamed Outhouse webmaster, Jude terror, “Dark Horse announces its 2E2 2013 schedule! Whoopdee-fucking-doo!”
“What the bloody Hell is a Arts & Entertainment fact checker? How do you fact check art?” asked GHERU (RU).
“Well, the Boston ComicCon was canceled, I’m sure there would have been more had it gone ahead.” Christian Hoffer (Blue) , Outhouse EIC, in an attempt to be a much needed voice of reason/
“Then the terrorists have won!” laughed both RU and Jude as they joked in unison.
“It’s that kind of humor that makes it necessary to keep you two in line. You’re going to get us on a list someday!” Blue scolded. “Ok, now what?”
Jude: Age of Ultron sucks
Blue: Water is wet
RU: I’m going to beat that horse dead at the end of the event.
Jude: RU, you need to stop taking these things so personally, let it go
Blue: Azrael’s back in Batman Inc
RU: I saw something about monkeys from Greg Pak in the inbox, anything there?
RU: You can’t eat them.
Blue: That’s for Royal, he gave Mr. Pak some good head to be on that list, let him have it. Also, Royal will treat it with respect; you don’t want the wrath of whatshisname down on us, do you?
Blue: Yea. The last time we made fun of a monkey, Simian didn’t talk to me for weeks, instead he had J.M. Hunter pass along any message. Fate worse than death.
Jude: I want to pick a fight with the white knight brigade?
Jude: Animal rights and my desire to eat a monkey.
Blue: No, just, no.
RU: We could point out the ineptitude of DC.
Blue: It is Monday…but no, NOTHING happened, we’d just look to be a week late like comcibook.com. Fuck it, RU go make something up, we just need to publish something, no one has to actually read it.
[Xaraan walks in]
Xaraan: Morning everyone, anything to write up?
[everyone else leaves room]
Xaraan: Hello? Anyone?