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DC Blames All of Recent Woes on Hacker Attack

Written by ThanosCopter on Tuesday, April 23 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

DC Blames All of Recent Woes on Hacker Attack

DC is following the AP's lead and blaming their recent missteps on a hacker.

Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

Shortly after the Associated Press announced that its Twitter account had been hacked and used to falsely report that the White House had been bombed, DC Comics announced that it had also been the victim of a hacking attack.  "Sadly, DC has learned that it's also been victim of an Internet attack, one that has lasted for several years," said DC head honcho Dan Didio at a hastily arranged press briefing that only the Outhouse attended. "We can confidently report to you that every stupid thing we've done over the last two and a half years was actually the hacker's fault."

Here's a transcript of our interview with Didio over the hacking.

OH: So hiring Rob Liefeld to write like five books?"

Didio: Definitely the hacker's fault.  No one at DC was responsible for that.  We'd never hire Rob to write anything.

OH: And firing Rob Liefeld, thus turning him into a vocal opposition figure?

Didio: Also the hacker's fault.  We love Rob and would never fire him.

OH:  What about your backwards publishing stance on women?

Didio: Hacker.  We here at DC love women.  Can't get enough of them.

OH: And your inconsistent, heavyhanded editorial management?

Didio: That's all the hacker.  I've always had a hands off management style.

OH: What about the reboot in general?  Especially all the failed comics?

Didio: The bad books were the hacker's fault.  The good ones are all DCs.

OH: So who made the decision to have your write OMAC and The Phantom Stranger? You or the hacker?

Didio: Depends, did you like either one of those books?

OH: No.

Didio: Then it was the hacker.  I didn't actually write them.  The hacker did.

OH: How did DC's email servers get so compromised?

Didio: Steve Wacker changed the passwords to the servers just before he left to go to Marvel.  It's all his fault.

OH: So where were you during all these alleged hacking incidents?

Didio: On vacation.  Marketing gave me photos that prove I was globetrotting the entire time, as was most of our upper management team.  [Hands the Outhouse obviously photoshopped pictures of Didio riding a dolphin, Didio and Harras jumping off the Red Bull Space Capsule and Didio climbing Mt. Everest]

OH:... This photo shows that you and Bob Harras photoshopped into Da Vinci's The Last Supper.

Didio:  The hacker did that, not me.  No more questions.

It's unknown whether Didio plans to reverse any of the hacker's terrible decisions.


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About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


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