Image has released a disturbing press release in which they hint at helping a sinister alien race attack the United States. "This year, Independence Day comes two days early" reads the press release. This, of course, is a reference to the popular Independence Day movie, in which aliens blow up most of the world's major population centers on July 2nd, forcing the President of the United States, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum to launch a desperate counterattack on July 4th.
Luckily, the people of earth have a power of which the aliens know nothing about - spam. Using carefully crafted Turkish Viagra spam, Smith should be able to commandeer an alien space ship, fly it into space, locate the alien mothership, and upload the spam into their alien computer systems. The opportunity to purchase quality Viagra at such cheap prices will be irresistible to the aliens, who are known for suffering from erectile dysfunction, which is much worse for them than for us because their alien anatomy consists of 27 dicks. Once they click, their systems will be infected with a high-tech computer virus, and humanity will be saved.
We imagine the world will engage in a few days of universal celebration, wherein everybody puts aside their differences after banding together in the shared struggle against a common enemy. With 48 hours, we will be right back to wishing death upon each other based on whether or not we prefer Superman to have red underpants outside his tights.
Oh yeah. Spoiler alert.
We asked President Obama for a comment about Image's nefarious plans, but he was busy dealing with being the leader of the free world. Strangely, however, Bill Pullman recorded a video response and sent it to our email:
Here's the teaser from Image: