Written by Jude Terror
on Tuesday, April 23 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Image plans to help aliens blow up world landmarks two days before Independence Day.
Source: Press Release
Image has released a disturbing press release in which they hint at helping a sinister alien race attack the United States. "This year, Independence Day comes two days early" reads the press release. This, of course, is a reference to the popular Independence Day movie, in which aliens blow up most of the world's major population centers on July 2nd, forcing the President of the United States, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum to launch a desperate counterattack on July 4th.
Luckily, the people of earth have a power of which the aliens know nothing about - spam. Using carefully crafted Turkish Viagra spam, Smith should be able to commandeer an alien space ship, fly it into space, locate the alien mothership, and upload the spam into their alien computer systems. The opportunity to purchase quality Viagra at such cheap prices will be irresistible to the aliens, who are known for suffering from erectile dysfunction, which is much worse for them than for us because their alien anatomy consists of 27 dicks. Once they click, their systems will be infected with a high-tech computer virus, and humanity will be saved.
We imagine the world will engage in a few days of universal celebration, wherein everybody puts aside their differences after banding together in the shared struggle against a common enemy. With 48 hours, we will be right back to wishing death upon each other based on whether or not we prefer Superman to have red underpants outside his tights.
Oh yeah. Spoiler alert.
We asked President Obama for a comment about Image's nefarious plans, but he was busy dealing with being the leader of the free world. Strangely, however, Bill Pullman recorded a video response and sent it to our email:
Here's the teaser from Image:
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.
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