Controversy failed to envelop DC's offices today as Chief Creative Officer and prolific writer Geoff Johns announced that he would be stepping down from Aquaman for a pre-planned one-month break that is not in response to any kind of editorial interference. Johns declined to have a public meltdown on Twitter, and a bevy of his colleagues did not follow suit by walking out in the next several hours, resulting in no mass exodus from the comics publisher.
"We don't know how to handle this," said a bewildered Editor in Chief Bob Harras, scratching his head. "Here at DC, when a creator leaves a book, it always results in massive drama. We were totally unprepared for something like this."
So what is Geoff Johns hiding? Was DC planning to kill off Aquaman and replace him with a regular human character, offending the highly underserved fish-people minority group? Was Johns embroiled in a constant tug of war with himself, repeatedly submitting scripts as a writer only to demand massive editorial rewrites from himself as CCO? Did Geoff Johns quit the book in a show of support for the horrific treatment of legendary creators like Alan Moore by DC executives such as Geoff Johns?
"What? No, this is a planned break," Johns reportedly insisted. "I write like half of DC's books. I'm a busy man, fer chrissakes."
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure Geoff. Just a normal, planned break. Riiiiiiiiggggghhhhhht.
Comics legend John Ostrander will handle the guest-writing chores on Aquaman #20. Johns will allegedly return the following month, but if he doesn't, we'll be sure to speculate and sensationalize the story with a followup report.