Source: Ain't It Cool News
El Presidente here, reporting from inside the jaws of a hungry Tyrannosaurus Rex, which I am holding open with all of my strength! Why? Because El Presidente, just like this Hollywood gossip, is a tasty morsel!
Ain't It Cool News, who used the same genetic cloning techniques the fictional scientists used to clone dinosaurs in their movie to resurrect their archaic, Compuserve era web design, is reporting on a breaking controversy with Jurassic Park 4, the highly-anticipated follow-up that was set to hit theaters in 2014. It seems that one of the concept artists for the film, Dean Sherriff, tweeted that the movie had been put on hold earlier today. The tweet was soon deleted, but then Jurassic Park 4 digital assets manager Todd "Vampire Weekend" Smoyer tweeted the following message, which he copied from his heart-shaped diary: "Hollywood makes and crushes dreams. Goodbye JP4."
Comrades, this news is more worrisome than the time I became concerned Che Guevara was jealous of how much more luxurious my beard was than his. It seems surprising that Universal would cancel a movie scheduled to be released a year from now, but AICN suggests that the crew may have been unable to hit the release date.
So while this does increase the score for CubanoReview and The Outhouse, fans of Jurassic Park and poor, tear-eyed Todd Smoyer may be the victims of Hollywood's dream-crushing machine. We'll keep you updated.
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About the Author - El Presidente
El Presidente gave up his position as President and Prime Minister of Cuba, as well as First Secretary of Cuba's Communist Party, in 2008 in order to concentrate on his true love: Hollywood gossip reporting. Forming the rumor website Cubano Review, El Presidente built a name for himself based on over THREE DOZEN industry credited trade scoops. Unfortunately, capitalist American trade embargoes have rendered CubanoReview.com unreachable from within the United States, forcing El Presidente to syndicate his articles to The Outhouse, which flies under the radar of the American oligarchy thanks to most leaders assuming it is a scat porn site, which, to be fair, is basically true.
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