Somewhere out there in the multiverse, there is a version of Earth where the entire human race evolved with vanilla pudding instead of neural matter for brains, and we're pretty sure that DC's entire executive team is slowly being replaced by pudding-brained dopplegangers from this alternate reality. DC's latest massive screw-up occurred yesterday, when the company shipped Green Lantern Corps #20, which spoils the ending of their "Wrath of the First Lantern" crossover, the final issue of which, Green Lantern #20, won't ship for another two weeks. Bleeding Cool was helpful enough to photoshop all the spoilers out of the page if you want to head over there, download it, print it out, and insert it into your copy so you can read the book without being spoiled.
Here at The Outhouse, however, we decided to get to the bottom of this. Why can't DC manage something as simple as publishing their books in the chronological order in which they should be read? We barged into a meeting of DC's top brass to ask the question.
"The Outhouse!" barked DC head honcho Dan Didio. "Get them out of here!"
You know you're really blacklisted when DC executives won't even talk to you in a made up conversation.
"What about Green Lantern Corps #20?" we protested. "Do you have any comment?"
"No comment!" shouted an angry Geoff Johns, Chief Creative Officer.
"Any truth to the rumor that your executives are being replaced by pudding-brained dopplegangers from an alternate dimension?" we pressed.
"That's ridiculous!" Didio answered, motioning to some DC goons who sprung into action to eject us from the building. But, before we could be removed, we pulled out our ace card: a squeaky rubber dog toy shaped like a t-bone steak. As we squeezed the toy, we noticed Editor in Chief Bob Harras's ears perk up. Clearly we had his attention.
"Whooosa good boy?" we asked, as Harras's eyes widened. "Whooooooooosa good boy? Whoooo wantsa treat?!"
"Stop him!" Johns demanded, but it was too late. We tossed the rubber steak onto DC's conference table, and it squeaked delightfully as it bounced right in front of Harras.
'HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" chortled Harras, clapping his hands together awkwardly. He was able to actually connect with about 60% of the claps. Clearly, our suspicions were correct. Bob Harras has pudding for brains. How long before DC's other execs are replaced as well? For some, might it be an improvement?
This is an important issue that could have serious ramifications for the comic book industry and the future of DC Comics. The Outhouse will keep you updated.
The Outhouse is sponsored by Cinema Crazed: Celebrating Film Culture & Pop Culture.
You Might Also Like:
White House Fence Jumper Reportedly Read Entire Issue of Larime Taylor's A Voice in the Dark: Get Your Gun #1 Before Secret Service Detained Him
Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook
Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. Ironically, our webmaster, whose website skills know no end, has very little understanding of social networks or how they work. Regardless, you can find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, but would probably have the most luck just emailing him.
More articles from Jude Terror