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P*ssed Off Black Man Wonders Why Everyone Thinks J. August Richards Will Play Black Character in S.H.I.E.L.D.

Written by Jude Terror on Thursday, May 16 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

P*ssed Off Black Man Wonders Why Everyone Thinks J. August Richards Will Play Black Character in S.H.I.E.L.D.

One man has a problem with all the speculation over who actor J. August Richards will play in Marvel: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Source: Thanoscopter Newswire

When J. August Richards was revealed as playing a mystery superhero in the upcoming Joss Whedon Avengers TV show, Marvel: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., last week, the internet immediately began speculating on who he would be playing. It was known that he would be playing an established Marvel Comics character, and fans have been gleefully debating just what character it might be. The first and most popular theory was that the actor of Afro-Panamanian descent would be playing Luke Cage.

But at least one longtime fan of Marvel comics wasn't happy. We spoke to Charles J. Patterson, a pissed off black man, to find out why.

"Why does J. August Richards gotta play a goddamn black character?" Patterson asked.

Well, no one is saying...

"Who was the first character everyone guessed he was gonna play?" he pressed.

Luke Cage.

"Luke Cage."

Well, that doesn't mean any...


Yeah, but...

"And then who was the next character everyone thought of?" he continued.

There were a couple of...

"Was it Daredevil?"

We don't...

"Was it Captain Marvel? Was it Wonder Man? Justice? It must have been Justice, right?"

It wasn't...

"It wasn't Justice. Who was it?"

I think it was...

"It was Rage, motherfucker! New Warriors!"

Maggott too...

"Uh huh. Maggott. Do you know what happened to Maggott in the comics?"

Well, I wasn't...

"Marvel doesn't even own the right to the X-Men. He can't be Maggott."

That's true, but...

"You're not even trying."

That's not fair, we...

"It's always a black character. And why do you think that is?"

Well, probably...

"Why was it Luke Cage, or Rage? Why not Daredevil?"

Because Richards is black?

"Because he's goddamn black. You racist motherfuckers."

Hey, no one was saying...

"What about Doctor Strange? Don't you think J. August Richards would make a great Doctor Strange?"

I'm not sure if he's...

"Racists! J. August Richards is a black actor, so everyone assumes he'll be playing a black character," Patterson explained. "I think J. August Richards would make a fine Ghost Rider. Marvel just got the rights back to Ghost Rider. Why doesn't anyone speculate that J. August Richards is gonna play Ghost Rider?"

Okay, we see what you're...

"I'll tell you why. Because he's black. And you motherfuckers are racist."

You know what? You're right. There's no reason J. August Richards can't play any character. He would be pretty good as Ghost Rider. I'm with you. Let's do it.

"No thanks!"

What?! Why not?

"Because as soon as it's announced J. August Richards will play Ghost Rider, all you racists gonna be all over the internet like, 'why couldn't they have just created a new character,' and, 'Ghost Rider's always been white, why would they change 40 years of continuity.' Oh sure, you'd love to have a black man play Ghost Rider, then you have something to complain about, won't you?"

That's not...

"Why a black actor's skull gotta be on fire?"

We have no defense for this. You're right.

"Racist motherfuckers."

Joss Whedon's Marvel: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., starring J. August Richards, airs this fall on ABC.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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