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Dazzler Joins S.H.I.E.L.D. in Uncanny X-Men

Written by Jude Terror on Tuesday, May 21 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

Dazzler Joins S.H.I.E.L.D. in Uncanny X-Men

The fan-favorite mutant gets a new job in "The Great One's" Uncanny X-Men, and she's fully clothed to boot!

Source: IGN

When Marvel's August solicitations came out last week, the text for Uncanny X-Men #10 promised: "SHIELD has a new agent and she’s a fan favorite mutant…" Unfortunately, because far too many comic artists today draw every character with the same body type and facial features, the character featured on the cover of the issue could have been one of any number of blonde, long-haired mutants, such as Emma Frost, Magick, Husk, Magma, or Angel. Thankfully, Uncanny X-Men writer "The Great One" Brian Bendis cleared things up in an interview with IGN today when he revealed that Dazzler would be the fan-favorite mutant in question.

According to "The Great One," Dazzler's choice to join the fascist, New World Order spy organization is really a way to avoid picking a side in the mutant conflict, as Dazzler can't decide whether to side with Cyclops or Wolverine, as Cyclops is obviously in the right about just about everything, but Wolverine is a sexy stud who all women and many men in the Marvel Universe want to bang and look up to for moral guidance. Of course, S.H.I.E.L.D. will certainly attempt to use Dazzler's previous relationship with the X-Men against them, and Bendis plans to explore her music career as well.

Perhaps the most shocking part of all of this, however, is that Dazzler is wearing an outfit that is completely appropriate for secret agent work. It seems to be somewhat armored, and safety and functionality are not sacrificed in order to show off her tits or ass. This marks the first time this has happened in the history of comic books. We're sure someone at Marvel will be getting fired for this oversight, but we applaud the cover artist (Chris Bachalo) for such a bold and innovative move toward making comics not shamefully embarassing for anyone who's not a twelve year old boy to read.

Uncanny X-Men #10 hits stores in August.

• SHIELD has a new agent and she’s a fan favorite mutant…
• Cyclops loses full control of his powers on the streets of Los Angeles.
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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