¡Hola¡ Faithful Cubano Review readers! Juan Cena, the most famous luchador from West Newbury, Mass. here. El Presidente is off locked in a sensory deprivation chamber with a kilo of peyote communing with the spirit of Hugo Chavez, leaving me with the pleasure of announcing the release of the trailer to Machete Kills, the long awaited sequel to comrade director Robert Rodriguez’s classic Machete.
Danny Trejo is back as the baddest Mexicano since Pancho Vanilla, as is Michelle Rodriguez. Along with them for this go around are Antonio Banderas, Sofia Vergara, Amber Heard, Jessica Alba, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Mel Gibson and Lady Gaga.
Making his film debut is Carlos Estivez, who bears a striking resemblance to Charlie Sheen. They look so similar that it’s almost like the same person or something. I must ask El Presidente how this can be once he is done meeting with Comrade Chavez’s ghost.
There’s action, women, explosions, women, guns, women, knives, women, violence, women, and much sticking it to the gringos. To blazes with plot and character development, comrades! Plus, we get to see if Lady Gaga’s acting face is as good as her “Poker Face.”
Machete Kills will be released on Sept. 13. Until then, enjoy the Spanish version of the official trailer.