A while back, we reported on award winning horror novelist Brian Keene's upcoming project with comics superstar Keith Giffen, Masters of the Universe: Origin of Hordak. We've been anxiously awaiting the June 12th release of the book, and we've been keeping an eye on the mainstream comics media, where DC Comics exclusively sends all their previews and news scoops in exchange for five star reviews and totalitarian message board censorship, waiting to catch an early glimpse of it.
Since Keene and Giffen are high profile big shots, we expected the preview to get top billing on a premium website. That's why we were shocked to find the preview not on a huge corporate megasite like USA Today or ComicBookResources, but instead on a slightly less huge corporate megasite: MTV Geek.
How could this happen?! What could cause DC to mistreat these popular creators so poorly?!
"Brian Keene gave an interview to The Outhouse after we publicly revealed that we had blacklisted them," explained Dan Didio, Commander in Chief of DC Comics. "Now the preview will only be seen by the five billion skillion daily readers on MTV Geek, instead of the ten billion skillion it would have gotten on ComicBookResources."
"I hope he's learned his lesson," Didio added, cracking his knuckles. "The next stop is a preview on Newsarama, which could destroy Keene's career once and for all."
But what about Keith Giffen? Giffen was innocent in the whole affair. Doesn't DC management care that they're causing Giffen's career to suffer based solely on a petty vendetta that has nothing to do with him?
"Is Giffen a comic book creator?" asked Didio.
We confirmed that he is.
"Then we don't care," he laughed. Didio then began to eat a bowl full of live, poisonous spiders, without even adding milk.
"I would have canceled it entirely," Didio added as he crunched the life from a spoonful of terrified arachnids with his powerful maw, "but I felt a close personal connection to the book due to similarities between Hordak's fictional life story and my own real one."
"Spiders?" Didio offered, handing us a spoon. We backed out of his office slowly.
On another note, the comic was originally slated for a May 29th release. We can only assume that the two week delay was all Keene's fault, a result of his spending all his time posting on eight fucking social media sites in addition to his own blog. Damn, dude. Priorities.
If you want to check out the preview of Origin of Hordak and don't mind debasing yourself by visiting one of the strongholds of corporate comics corruption, head on over to MTV Geek. The comic hits stores next week, and we hope you'll buy a copy so that Keene's family doesn't starve. He really needs this, guys.