- Written by Frankenstein, Former Agent of S.H.A.D.E. on Saturday, June 08 2013 and posted in News and Satire
When Frank book, Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E. canceled by DC Comics, Frank depressed. But Frank knew Frank had other options, such as feature length movie telling Frank origin story from 20th Century Fox. Paul McGuigan attached to direct, and Harry Potter himself, Daniel Ratcliffe, set to play Igor.
Frank always thought to self while watching Harry Potter movies that Ratcliffe very cute and Frank would like to hug him until he die of asphyxiation or Frank accidentally rip arms off Daniel while playfully tossing him around like rag doll. Frank no know Frank's own strength.
But Frank upset to learn today that Frankenstein movie given release date of October 17, 2014. Come on, Hollywood. Just because Frank is monster Frank movie have to come out near Halloween? That monsterist!
Is no reason monster movie can no come out as summer blockbuster. Frank one of biggest stars of all time, enduring in the imaginations of popular fiction for 200 years. Why no put movie out in June? Why no put movie out during winter holidays?
Frank tell you why. It because monsters are typecast as "scary," so monsters always associated with degrading and insulting holiday, Halloween. On Halloween, people dress up like monsters and go around begging for candy, like all monsters no have job or skills to get own candy, and have rely on the support of non-monsters to get it. Is ridiculous. When Frank want candy, Frank break down door of candy store and scare all people away, then grab candy while destroying store in sugar-fueled rampage. Just like anyone else would do.
Frank glad that more people will learn about Frank story from movie, but Frank wish it not always one step forward, two step back with monster rights and equality. Frank hope someone at Fox reconsider this blatant bigotry and change movie release date to something less insulting.
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