Greetings, comrades! El Presidente here, reporting from a hot air balloon.
I have a scoop for you today coming from ComicBookMovie.com, a non-Latino-themed Hollywood gossip site that specializes in hot, juicy rumors about comic book movies. Those are my favorite kinds of rumors. Not comic book movie rumors. Hot, juicy ones.
Accordiny to CBM, they've found out the answer to the question everyone has been asking since it was revealed that Colm Feore would be playing a character in The Amazing Spider-Man 2: Who the hell is Colm Feore?
Hahahaha! Am I right?
Ok, well that's not the question they answered. Instead, they found out who Feore is playing: Adrian Toomes, The Vulture. I'm particularly excited by this news, comrades, because weaponized bird wings were actually my idea, back during the Cold War. I wanted to strap Che Guevara to a pair of them and shoot him into the United States to start an armed guerilla resistance and bring communism to the people of your country. Unfortunately, we miscalculated and send poor Che flying to Los Angeles instead of Washington DC, and instead of starting a guerilla resistance he started the rap metal band Rage Against the Machine.
You can't win 'em all.
The site goes on to say that The Vulture will be teaming up with The Rhino, Electro, and the Green Goblin, and that this foursome would be the basis for a Sinister Six in the third movie, though that sounds to me like the kind of safe speculation one can make that is likely to turn out true, allowing you to boast about it later as if you really had some insider info there. What a great idea! I wish I could high five these Hollywood hot shots!
The movie rumor business is all about keeping score. I know it. ComicBookMovie.com knows it. And Colm Feore, whoever the heck he is, he knows it too.
Stay tuned to The Outhouse and CubanoReview for all the latest scoops, comrades. Amazing Spider-Man 2: Electro Boogaloo hits theaters in May of 2014, and stars Jamie Foxx as a demonic smurf.
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About the Author - El Presidente
El Presidente gave up his position as President and Prime Minister of Cuba, as well as First Secretary of Cuba's Communist Party, in 2008 in order to concentrate on his true love: Hollywood gossip reporting. Forming the rumor website Cubano Review, El Presidente built a name for himself based on over THREE DOZEN industry credited trade scoops. Unfortunately, capitalist American trade embargoes have rendered CubanoReview.com unreachable from within the United States, forcing El Presidente to syndicate his articles to The Outhouse, which flies under the radar of the American oligarchy thanks to most leaders assuming it is a scat porn site, which, to be fair, is basically true.
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