Alan Moore, legendary creator of comic books like Watchmen, V for Vendetta, From Hell, and That One With the Fish Semen, is famous for refusing to accept money for the movie adaptations of his beloved works. As per his policy, Moore will not see films based off his works, and will instead publicly denounce them and the people involved with making them purely on principle. Interestingly, Moore has recently been producing a series of short films set in or around a men's club called Jimmy's End. Four of them are complete, and Moore has started up a Kickstarter to fund the final short film.
The problem is, the purpose of Kickstarter is to raise money to make a film based on the work of Alan Moore, something that Moore is decidedly against. How does Moore reconcile the conflicting interests? He doesn't.
"Shameless, bloodsucking jackals!" complained an irritated fictional version of Moore when we asked him for comment on the Kickstarter campaign. "How dare they attempt to put a price on my creative vision!"
We asked if Moore was confused, since he is making the movie himself, and thus asking for the Kickstarter donations.
"Are you daft, boy?!" Moore shouted, enraged. "Money should never change hands in the making of art! Those piss-swilling hogfuckers think they can get exploit my work for material gain?! They've got another thing coming!"
Indeed, hogfuckers though they might be, backers of the project are entitled to some pretty impressive material swag. Those who pledge £30 or more get an exclusive DVD and illustrated book. Pledging £150 earns signed screenplays for all five short films. £250 earns a prop from the film, while £1000 or more earns a set visit and onscreen credit. You can view the full list of rewards at the Kickstarter page.
"Even if they contribute a meager £5, they're still picking the carrion meat from the corpus of my creativity!" ranted Moore, jumping up and down. "They're little more than corporate bottoms! Chronic eaters of fish testicles and spoiled ham salads!"
But if Moore has such a problem with people spending money to make Alan Moore films, why did he start the Kickstarter in the first place?
"We really need the money, and we're grateful for any donations," Moore explained, adding that anyone who donated money was "worse than a sentient yeast infection from your mother's vagina." Contribute to the Kickstarter by clicking here, and check out the trailer for Jimmy's End below.