Source: Den of Geek
Greetings comrades! El Presidente here, reporting from the international area of the Moscow airport! What?! No, I'm not here for Edward Snowden! They just have great deals on duty free cigars and liquor here!
My friends, I've been reporting for months on the casting rumors for Marvel's upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy movie, and I am very pleased that I can finally say for absolutely certain that we may know who is playing whom in the movie! It's totally probably for certain this time! I'd stake my life on these rumors being possibly accurate!
So according to Den of Geek, a website I'd never heard of before today, Benicio Del Toro will be playing, as I correctly predicted, The Collector. Lee Pace will be playing, as I correctly predicted, Ronan the Accuser. Karren Gillen will be playing Nebula. I didn't predict that one, comrades, but that's because I was trying to leave a few scraps for the other gossip sites, you know what I'm saying?
Now, keep in mind, these are all still unsubstantiated rumors, which are absolutely true, despite the fact that they may be completely wrong. As long as we're clear on that, then I am very comfortable posting this article which will bring in tons of unique hits for information that was already speculated on multiple times over the last several months. I mean, this time, it's for real! Probably! Definitely! Maybe! Absolutely! Or not!
Got it? Good! Stay tuned to CubanoReview and The Outhouse for all your wishy washy Hollywood rumor needs!
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About the Author - El Presidente
El Presidente gave up his position as President and Prime Minister of Cuba, as well as First Secretary of Cuba's Communist Party, in 2008 in order to concentrate on his true love: Hollywood gossip reporting. Forming the rumor website Cubano Review, El Presidente built a name for himself based on over THREE DOZEN industry credited trade scoops. Unfortunately, capitalist American trade embargoes have rendered CubanoReview.com unreachable from within the United States, forcing El Presidente to syndicate his articles to The Outhouse, which flies under the radar of the American oligarchy thanks to most leaders assuming it is a scat porn site, which, to be fair, is basically true.
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