Source: Hollywood Reporter
Whenever a movie or television company announces that they will be adapting an Alan Moore creation for the small or silver screen, the comic book community braces for Moore's inevitable temper tantrum, in which he will refuse to take any royalties for the project, denounce the adaptation before he's even seen it, and accuse all working comic book creators alive today of being rank amateurs who do nothing but steal his old ideas and recycle them for soulless, unoriginal, corporate comics. When 20th Century Fox announced today that they would be ordering a pilot of an adaptation of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, a 1999 comic book series by Moore and artist Kevin O'Neill that takes the characters of classic novels and puts them on a Justice League-esque Victorian superteam, the comic book media was expecting more of the same. However, much to everyone's surprise, Moore was beaten to the punch by the original creators of the works, who rose from the grave with a hunger for brains and a desire to put both 20th Century Fox and Moore himself in their place.
Zombie Jules Verne is refusing to accept any money made from what he calls a bastardization of his creation, Captain Nemo from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. In an attempt to out-Moore Moore himself, Verne is complaining about the TV show, the movie, AND the comic book series.
"They're all rip offs," zombie Verne said as he shambled down a deserted street, looking for living human beings to devour. Though he doesn't want the money, Verne has not ruled out the possibility that he would be willing to feast on the living flesh of executives involved in the production.
"9 July. Hollywood. Saw story on internet about TV show adaptation of League of Extraordinary Gentelemen." said an undead Bram Stoker, Dracula author and original creator of Mina Harker, in his signature epistolary style. "Why can't Alan Moore come up with ideas of his own?"
"It’s tragic," Stoker continued as he pawed at the window of a parked car where a terrified family was huddling, trying desperately to break through so that he could eat their brains. "The comics that I read as a kid that inspired me were full of ideas. They didn’t need some upstart from the 19th century to rise from the grave and tell them how to do comics. They’d got plenty of ideas of their own. But these days, I increasingly get a sense of the comics industry going through my trashcan like raccoons in the dead of the night."
"We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone," said Invisible Man creator, zombie H.G. Wells, as he ripped open the torso of a screaming woman and shoveled her bloody intestines into his mouth.
Wells was then reminded that that quote actually belonged to legendary thespian Orson Welles, to which he responded, "Fuck that fat, drunk bastard. I wrote fucking Time Machine."
"I say," said zombie Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of Professor Moriarity and Mycroft Holmes, two more classic literary characters Moore used in the books. "That's quite rude, it is. I ought to have my great grandson, Richard Johnston, write a scathing review of this Moore fellow on his trashy comic book rumor site."
"Pip pip," added the decomposing author.
"This is a disgrace," complained undead Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish author and creator of Doctor Jeckyll and Mister Hyde. "An outrage! Whit aboot creator's rights? Whit aboot respect fur th' creativity o' they wha cam afore ye? Aldo Moore shuid be ashamed o' his-sel fur enabling this crass exploitation o' mah rightful property."
As of press time, neither the studio, Moore, nor Moore's beard had responded to the author's accusations or the zombie plague their presence threatens to inflict on humanity. Luckily for the human race, Moore is known as a powerful wizard, and may be forced to team up with Fox, using his magickal powers to put the undead to rest and save the world.
Come to think of it, that would make a great concept for a graphic novel. Any artists out there interested? I keep the movie rights and all toaster royalties.
The Outhouse is sponsored by Cinema Crazed: Celebrating Film Culture & Pop Culture.
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. Ironically, our webmaster, whose website skills know no end, has very little understanding of social networks or how they work. Regardless, you can find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, but would probably have the most luck just emailing him.
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