At San Diego Comic Con next week, Marvel plans to unveil Marvel One Shot: Agent Carter, a short film starring Hayley Atwell which will appear as a bonus feature on the Iron Man 3 Blu Ray. The film will follow Agent Peggy Carter's career following the events of Captain America: The First Avenger, and bridge the gap between Iron Man 3 and Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier. Sounds great, right? Well, not for Ray Rivera, a longtime comic book collector from Cleveland, OH.
"It's a crime against humanity!!!" shouted Rivera when he saw the poster for the film, pictured below, which is presented in the style of an old comic book. "Look at the condition of that comic book! It's an atrocity!"
We tried pointing out that the picture was not of a real comic book, but, rather, a mock up of one, created solely for the poster, playing up on the fact that Carter's story is set in the Golden Age of comics, immediately following World War 2. In truth, there is no Agent Carter comic, and the image is a result of the magic of photoshop, designed with no purpose other than to advertise the film. No comics were harmed in the making of this poster.
"No collector in their right mind would own a fictional comic book of that age and value and not keep it bagged and boarded and stored in a humidity and temperature controlled environment to preserve it in pristine condition!" he ranted, spittle flying wantonly from his mouth. "The fictional person who owns this fictional comic book should be taken outside and shot! They should be fucking shot!"
But isn't it a little bit irrational to concentrate on something so meaningless? The whole point of the first look is really the pictures of Atwell from the film itself, and plot details like the fact that the film is set a year after Captain America and revolves around Carter and the SRR, a precursor to S.H.I.E.L.D., trying to track down and obtain a mysterious device called Zodiac. It sounds like a fun film, doesn't it?
"Marvel is setting a terrible example!" cried Rivera. "Think about how many impressionable young collectors will see this image and think that it's somehow hip or fashionable to have a comic that is clearly in no better than Very Good condition, Fine at best!"
"CGC would laugh in your fucking face if you came to them with that bullshit," he added, punctuating his insane ramblings by slamming his head repeatedly into a wall until he knocked himself unconscious.
"Gggglllrrrrggghhh," he said, drooling on himself as he slumped to the floor.
Despite Rivera's protests, Marvel still plans to unveil the film at Comic Con, and fans can see it on the Iron Man 3 Blu Ray on September 24. In the meantime, please enjoy these images from Entertainment Weekly.