Joseph Gordon-Levitt Actually Rumored to Play Doctor Strange
- Written by El Presidente on Monday, July 15 2013 and posted in News and Satire
Source: Bleeding Cool
Greetings, comrades! El Presidente here, reporting from underneath a hoodie in George Zimmerman's gated community.
I've got a huge scoop for you guys today. The scoop of the century. It's a scooptastic scoopicopia of scooperific scooptitude! Along with the rest of the comic book media, we like to speculate that Joseph Gordon-Levitt, or JGL as his friends call him, will be cast in every single role in every single superhero movie being made. Call it wishful thinking. Call it shameless hit baiting. Whatever you call it, it turns out that, most of the time, we're wrong.
NOT THIS TIME, comrades! As far back as April, The Outhouse was talking about how Joseph Gordon Levitt would play Doctor Strange in Marvel's upcoming movie. Well, months later, those posers over at LatinoReview are saying that Marvel executives want JGL for the role!
It's not surprising that LatinoReview, only the second most relevant Latino-themed Hollywood gossip site behind my own CubanoReview, would report on what's old news for your friend El Presidente and dare to call it an exclusive. They are, of course, jealous of my over three dozen industry credited trade scoops, and my magnificent facial hair. Hollywood is all about keeping score.
It is, however, exciting to see this story picking up throughout the greater comics media. We reached out to Comicbook.net's Gus Sterlingham, who writes approxmately fourteen thousand articles per year on average speculating on which superhero movies JGL will be cast in, for comment.
"Hgglugluglugluglugluglugluglugggghhh," said Sterlingham, too excited to respond intelligably.
Head of Marvel Studios Kevin Feige was heard to comment on the rumor, saying, "when we were looking for someone to play the role of the mustachioed, mature Doctor Strange, we thought to ourselves, you know who would be great for this? The boyish, babyfaced actor who looked too skinny to play fucking Nightwing in the Dark Knight Rises. Get us that guy!"
Of course, this is only a rumor, and JGL has not been signed to any kind of contract yet. On the one hand, comrades, this is disappointing because we can not be sure that he will actually end up in the role. On the other hand, it opens the door for at least another three or four articles speculating on whether he will be signed.
Stay tuned to The Outhouse and CubanoReview for the latest Hollywood and JGL rumors and gossip, my friends!
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About the Author - El Presidente
El Presidente gave up his position as President and Prime Minister of Cuba, as well as First Secretary of Cuba's Communist Party, in 2008 in order to concentrate on his true love: Hollywood gossip reporting. Forming the rumor website Cubano Review, El Presidente built a name for himself based on over THREE DOZEN industry credited trade scoops. Unfortunately, capitalist American trade embargoes have rendered CubanoReview.com unreachable from within the United States, forcing El Presidente to syndicate his articles to The Outhouse, which flies under the radar of the American oligarchy thanks to most leaders assuming it is a scat porn site, which, to be fair, is basically true.
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