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SDCC: Dynamite Hires Known Necrophiliac to Star in Comic

Written by Jude Terror on Wednesday, July 17 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

SDCC: Dynamite Hires Known Necrophiliac to Star in Comic

Alice Cooper, who confessed to having sex with a dead body in 1975, has been hired to star in a new comic by Dynamite Entertainment.

Source: Press Release

Comic book publishers have proven to have no qualms with hiring reprehensible characters to work on their products; just look at all the work Orson Scott Card has done for Marvel and DC over the years. The latest announcement from Dynamite Entertainment that they have signed sex criminal Alice Cooper to star in an as yet untitled comic book by an as yet unnamed creative team, however, represents a new low for the industry. Back in 1975, Cooper confessed to necrophilia, having sexual relations with a dead person.

"Yeah, oh, one thing I miss, is cold Ethyl and her skeleton kiss," said a nonchalant Cooper, detailing the sexual exploits that took place "by the refrigerator light."

"She's cool in bed," explained Cooper, eliminating all doubt as to whether he knew that what he was doing was wrong. "She's gotta be, because Ethyl's dead."

Unfortunately, due to statutes of limitations, Cooper was never charged with his crime, despite being legally an adult at the time. Cooper tried to play off the events as youthful indiscretion, claiming that he was eighteen and confused every day, but we're not buying it. Cooper is obviously a sex maniac, as, when accused of being a "psycho" in 1992, Cooper responded by comparing his libido to the fictional Frankenstein's monster and commanding fans to feed it. Cooper also admitted to being addicted to sex in 1973, excusing reports of chronic masturbation by suggesting that his heart is a "muscle of love."

It is unknown how much Dynamite is paying Cooper to use his likeness, but it is well known throughout the industry that anyone looking to strike a deal with Cooper, or, as he calls it, be his lover, had better be willing to "take him hooooo-o-o-oa-oa-oa-ah-o-ome," citing the long distance to paradise and solitary nature of the trip as key reasons.

Here's Dynamite's press release, which, frankly, really skirts around the issue:


SDCC Announcement - The Godfather of Shock Rock
Launches His First Ongoing Series!
Dynamite Announces Upcoming Alice Cooper Comics

July 17, 2013, Mt. Laurel, NJ:  Comic book and graphic novel publisher Dynamite proudly announces that legendary rock star Alice Cooper will star in an upcoming comic book series, slated for release in 2014.

"We're doing many cool things with Dynamite, beginning with a new comics series which I am very excited about.  I always say that the best thing about being in a comic book is that they draw you with great abs!" says Alice Cooper.  "Artistically, for me there is hardly a better medium.  There is so much you can do in the form of a comic that we'd never been able to do on stage.  It's just a different way of storytelling, and it really has almost limitless possibilities.  We're looking forward to stretching the existing boundaries of the comic medium again.  We have new stories to tell, but we'll do it with the same theatrical, sinister sensibility that comes with the name ‘Alice Cooper'.  This is just the beginning!  Welcome to my NEW Nightmares!"

Renowned as the "Godfather of Shock Rock", Alice Cooper is an icon of rock 'n roll with a career spanning five decades.  A Detroit native, Cooper has released 26 albums over the course of his illustrious career, and maintains a reputation as one of the most theatrical live performers in history, often incorporating elaborate horror movie and vaudeville sensibilities into his stage shows.  In addition to his musical career, he is an avid golfer, film actor, restaurateur, and radio DJ.

Alice Cooper has been a subject and contributor to comic books over the years, first appearing as the centerpiece of a 1972 issue of Marvel Premiere.  As a companion to his 1994 concept album The Last Temptation, Cooper released a graphic novel of the same name, written by bestselling and critically acclaimed author Neil Gaiman (The Sandman, American Gods, Coraline) and illustrated by Michael Zulli.  Cooper also contributed a story in the Treehouse of Horror comic in 1995, a Halloween-themed spin-off from The Simpsons.

"Alice Cooper's on-stage persona, the ultimate shock rocker, is perfect for comic books," says Nick Barrucci, CEO and Publisher of Dynamite.  "From his comic book debut in Marvel Premiere to The Last Temptation by Neil Gaiman, I've enjoyed the appearances Alice has made in comics.  We are excited to develop captivating and hypnotic comic storylines that incorporate the Sinister Showman's gothic flair and grandiose vision.  This is going to be one hell of a ride!"


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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