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Matt Kindt Comes One Step Closer to Total Comic Industry Domination (UPDATED w/ Map)

Written by ThanosCopter on Monday, August 05 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

Matt Kindt Comes One Step Closer to Total Comic Industry Domination (UPDATED w/ Map)

The acclaimed writer/leader of a barbarian horde will be writing the Unity event for Valiant this November.

Source: Comics Beat

Valiant has announced that Matt Kindt will be writing Unity, a crossover event series featuring characters such as Ninjak, the Eternal Warrior and X-O Manowar.  Joining him will be Doug Braithwaite on pencils and Brian Reber on colors. The crossover event is Valiant's first line wide crossover since relaunching last year and marks the latest step in Kindt's attempt to completely take over the comic industry. 

Here's a quote from Valiant editor Warren Simons describing the event, which centers on X-O Manowar attempting to conquer Romania. 

There’s a reason Valiant never had a team like this throughout its history — these characters aren’t friends. They don’t hang out in the penthouse of a high-rise waiting for the Valiant-phone to alert them to trouble. These are hard men and women. They’re dangerous and a lot of them are killers, and putting them in a room together is a violent proposition.

Toyo Harada — a child of the bomb — has dedicated his life to achieving peace by any means necessary. He will not view X-O Manowar trying to conquer Romania — which is an event at the heart of Unity— as a good thing. And neither will the Russians.

With Kindt writing books for Marvel, DC, Valiant and Dark Horse, it appears that the writer is strategically positioning himself to strike on multiple fronts at once, hoping to conquer a vulnerable comic industry with one mighty blow.  However, Kindt denied the claims in an exclusive interview with the Outhouse. 

"I'm not trying to take over the comic industry," Kindt said, while leading an army of thousands towards New York City.  "And if I was, I probably wouldn't announce my intentions to a comic book website read by hundreds."

"I actually am trying to conquer the comic industry," he whispered.  "Just don't tell anybody." 

A hawk suddenly flew down and landed on his outstretched arm.  "Now, I must be away.  I have a meeting with Joe Quesada and Dan Didio so that they might offer me tribute in exchange for their lives."  He galloped off on a mighty horse, followed closely by his bodyguards.

We expect to report on the announcements of Kindt writing Forever Evil, Infinity and Image United later today. 

UPDATE: The Outhouse has uncovered a chart detailing Kindt's rise to prominence in the comic book industry:

Obviously, the entire industry should be terrified. 


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About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


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