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Rumor: Chu to Direct Star Trek 3?

Written by Jude Terror on Monday, August 05 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

Rumor: Chu to Direct Star Trek 3?

The Outhouse had a difficult time verifying the rumor when we sent a resident of Philadelphia to get the scoop.

Source: Latino-Review is claiming to have the inside scoop on who will direct Star Trek 3. According to the latino-themed Hollywood gossip site, G.I. Joe: Retaliation director Jon M. Chu will direct the film, stepping in for J. J. Abrams, who will be too busy directing Star Wars Episode 7. This is, of course, simply a rumor and should be treated as such. However, The Outhouse did our very best to verify the claims by sending a local resident of Philadelphia to ask Abrams about it while the acclaimed director was having lunch at a local cheesesteak stand.

Philly Resident: Yo! Buddy! Is it true that Chu gonna direct Star Trek 3?

J.J. Abrams: What? No, I'm not going to be able to direct it because of the timeline."

Philly Resident: What? I know dat! I wanna know if Chu gonna direct it!

J.J. Abrams: And I just told you, I can't. Paramount wants the movie to come out in 2016 to coincide with the 50th anniversary of the television show. I'll be too busy with Star Wars. Lens flares take a lot of time and effort.

Philly Resident: Hey, whatsa matter wit' youze Hollywood types, huh? Are you fakkin' deaf or sometin'? I know that you ain't gonna direct Star Trek 3. What I want to know is, is Chu gonna direct Star Trek 3 or not?

J.J. Abrams: Leave me alone, you Neanderthal.

Philly Resident: (spits on ground) Chu gonna finish dat cheesesteak?

As you can see, Abrams isn't talking. File this one in the rumor bin for now, but keep in mind that we were totally right about the time we said that Kelly Hu would play China White on Arrow. We'll keep you updated.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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