Latino-Review.com is claiming to have the inside scoop on who will direct Star Trek 3. According to the latino-themed Hollywood gossip site, G.I. Joe: Retaliation director Jon M. Chu will direct the film, stepping in for J. J. Abrams, who will be too busy directing Star Wars Episode 7. This is, of course, simply a rumor and should be treated as such. However, The Outhouse did our very best to verify the claims by sending a local resident of Philadelphia to ask Abrams about it while the acclaimed director was having lunch at a local cheesesteak stand.
Philly Resident: Yo! Buddy! Is it true that Chu gonna direct Star Trek 3?
J.J. Abrams: What? No, I'm not going to be able to direct it because of the timeline."
Philly Resident: What? I know dat! I wanna know if Chu gonna direct it!
J.J. Abrams: And I just told you, I can't. Paramount wants the movie to come out in 2016 to coincide with the 50th anniversary of the television show. I'll be too busy with Star Wars. Lens flares take a lot of time and effort.
Philly Resident: Hey, whatsa matter wit' youze Hollywood types, huh? Are you fakkin' deaf or sometin'? I know that you ain't gonna direct Star Trek 3. What I want to know is, is Chu gonna direct Star Trek 3 or not?
J.J. Abrams: Leave me alone, you Neanderthal.
Philly Resident: (spits on ground) Chu gonna finish dat cheesesteak?
As you can see, Abrams isn't talking. File this one in the rumor bin for now, but keep in mind that we were totally right about the time we said that Kelly Hu would play China White on Arrow. We'll keep you updated.
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. Ironically, our webmaster, whose website skills know no end, has very little understanding of social networks or how they work. Regardless, you can find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, but would probably have the most luck just emailing him.
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