After a post San Diego Comic Con lull and with a counter nearing the double digits, The Outhouse was preparing for a lazy week of updating the popular website Has DC Done Something Stupid Today. Ace reporter and comics bad boy ThanosCopter was even beginning to fear that DC might be trying to get their act together, which would halt The Outhouse's seemingly endless supply of easy targets produced by their editorial mismanagement.
"What do generals do in times of peace?" mused the veteran shock blogger and former super-villain marquee vehicle as he sipped a glass of 25 year old scotch behind his old timey newspaper reporter's desk at Outhouse HQ.
And then all hell broke loose.
It started with a report on Tuesday from Eisner winning creator Paul Pope that "the head of DC Comics" had once rejected a pitch for an all-ages book starring a popular superhero, telling him that "DC only makes comics for 45 year olds" and that, if he wanted to do a kids' book, he should do "Scooby Doo." Naturally, this led to the week's first reset of the counter on Has DC Comics Done Something Stupid Today Dot Com, the alert system relied on by thousands of comic book readers who need to know whether or not the publishing giant has done something stupid on any given day, which is maintained dutifully by The Outhouse as a public service. But the real fun began later that evening, when Outhouse Editor in Chief Christian Hoffer received a tip from a source that DC was planning on imposing severe allocations on their ridiculous, money-losing Villains Month lenticular 3D gimmick covers in September.
This led to a counter reset the next day, but DC wasn't finished yet. The beleaguered company wasn't satisfied with just two massive, publicly embarrassing spectacles for the week, so they also fired Kevin Maguire off of Justice League 3000, despite Maguire, as part of the original Justice League International creative team, being one of the main selling points of the book. They also fired Maguire in a way which seemed to confuse the artist as to what exactly had happened, leading to a counter reset for Thursday.
Unlike some former DC employees, Maguire didn't throw a tantrum on social media. Instead, the artist just seemed saddened by the events, as well as his sudden lack of a steady, high-profile gig for no fault of his own. Oh, Kevin Maguire. Haven't you been reading The Outhouse? This is business as usual for DC.
DC coasted on these two screw ups for the rest of the week, causing two counter updates on Friday, first when they promoted the new, grim and gritty, Justice League 3000 featuring Howard Porter in Maguire's former role in an interview on Newsarama which included seemingly tactless comments by superstar writer Keith Giffen which, while probably meant without malice (we're totally blaming DC entirely), were taken as somewhat insulting to Maguire, even by Maguire himself, who called the comments "humiliating." Counter reset!
Later that day, right before both DC and comics distribution monopoly Diamond shut down for the weekend, the allocations on 3D covers were revealed to retailers, causing an unprecedented second counter update for the day and leaving retailers fuming over huge discrepancies in the orders they placed and what they would actually receive. Of course, since the companies released the information at the end of the workweek, the retailers had nowhere else to vent their frustrations but on social media, again creating a shit storm of bad publicity for DC.
Meanwhile, Outhouse staff worked tirelessly behind the scenes in an attempt to keep the embattled counter running.
"It was rough going," explained steampunk top hat wearing Webmaster Jude Terror, who spoke to us from inside his sepia toned laboratory. Terror dashed across the room and used a comically oversized wrench to tweak some elaborate machinery that he claims is part of the arcane server structure that powers The Outhouse. "We almost lost it last night when a cable became unplugged, but we had one of our best men on the job."
Hopefully, DC will learn from their mistakes next week and be more conscious of their public image in the future, so that the Counter isn't put under any more...
Oh. Oh man.
Okay, I'm alright now.