Jude Terror announced plans today to cheat to win a contest prize of being drawn into an issue of Mind MGMT by Matt Kindt by making it seem like the contest is impossible to win, said sources close to the Outhouse reporter. If Terror can discourage enough fans of the critically acclaimed comic from entering the contest, he can increase his own odds of winning, which would be "totally freaking cool."
"When I read the press release this morning, I was really excited," explained Terror, rubbing his hands together greedily. "But then I realized, if I published this, so many people would click the link and enter the contest. I mean, who wouldn't want to be drawn into Mind MGMT? It's the best comic being published today. I want to be in Mind MGMT so bad."
"But look at this," worried Terror, as he read over the press release:
The recent release of MIND MGMT #13 kicked off an all-new arc of this critically acclaimed series, currently in its second year at Dark Horse. To celebrate, Dark Horse and series creator Matt Kindt are offering fans a very special opportunity.
By simply Liking the official MIND MGMT Facebook page, you will be entered into a drawing to, well, “enter a drawing.” That’s right: One lucky fan will actually be drawn into the seventeenth issue of the ongoing series! If you are one of the readers who were ahead of the curve on this and have already liked this page, you are already eligible!
"Yeah, see," Terror complained. "All people have to do is go and click 'like' on Mind MGMT's Facebook page, and just like that, they're entered in the contest. That's way too easy."
To increase his odds, Terror hopes to convince readers that entering the contest is exteremely difficult, and that it's really not worth it for all the effort, no matter how great a book Mind MGMT is.
"I think I'll say that you have to, like, swim through a glass tank filled with razor blades and wrestle a hungry bear to enter the contest," Terror mused. "I think I saw that on an episode of Double Dare once."
"If you survive that," he continued, "you have to fill out a twenty page form and mail it to Dark Horse by snail mail along with a $500 entry fee. Then you swear fealty to Dark Horse and Matt Kindt and vow to defend them with your life against all their enemies. And they have a lot of enemies. Then you prove you're not a cop by snorting some cocaine, because we don't like cops around here, man. Then you like the Facebook page."
"No, wait," he paused. "Then you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka, and THEN you like the Facebook page. Yeah, that should do it."
"Whatever you do," Terror cautioned, "don't click this link and like Mind MGMT on Facebook until you've finished all of that stuff above. It's not allowed, okay? You'll be disqualified. So don't even bother, alright?"
If you've completed all the prerequisite tasks, head on over to Mind MGMT on Facebook and like the page to be entered into the contest.
"Noooooooo!," shouted an angry Terror.