Monday, June 18, 2018 • Midnight Edition • "Good enough for government work!"

Reporter to Rig Results of Mind MGMT Contest

Written by Jude Terror on Monday, August 12 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

Reporter to Rig Results of Mind MGMT Contest

The reporter hopes to discourage anyone else from entering the contest so that he can keep the prize for himself.

Source: Press Release

Jude Terror announced plans today to cheat to win a contest prize of being drawn into an issue of Mind MGMT by Matt Kindt by making it seem like the contest is impossible to win, said sources close to the Outhouse reporter. If Terror can discourage enough fans of the critically acclaimed comic from entering the contest, he can increase his own odds of winning, which would be "totally freaking cool." 

"When I read the press release this morning, I was really excited," explained Terror, rubbing his hands together greedily. "But then I realized, if I published this, so many people would click the link and enter the contest. I mean, who wouldn't want to be drawn into Mind MGMT? It's the best comic being published today. I want to be in Mind MGMT so bad."

"But look at this," worried Terror, as he read over the press release:

The recent release of MIND MGMT #13 kicked off an all-new arc of this critically acclaimed series, currently in its second year at Dark Horse. To celebrate, Dark Horse and series creator Matt Kindt are offering fans a very special opportunity.

By simply Liking the official MIND MGMT Facebook page, you will be entered into a drawing to, well, “enter a drawing.” That’s right: One lucky fan will actually be drawn into the seventeenth issue of the ongoing series! If you are one of the readers who were ahead of the curve on this and have already liked this page, you are already eligible!


"Yeah, see," Terror complained. "All people have to do is go and click 'like' on Mind MGMT's Facebook page, and just like that, they're entered in the contest. That's way too easy."

To increase his odds, Terror hopes to convince readers that entering the contest is exteremely difficult, and that it's really not worth it for all the effort, no matter how great a book Mind MGMT is.

"I think I'll say that you have to, like, swim through a glass tank filled with razor blades and wrestle a hungry bear to enter the contest," Terror mused. "I think I saw that on an episode of Double Dare once."

"If you survive that," he continued, "you have to fill out a twenty page form and mail it to Dark Horse by snail mail along with a $500 entry fee. Then you swear fealty to Dark Horse and Matt Kindt and vow to defend them with your life against all their enemies. And they have a lot of enemies. Then you prove you're not a cop by snorting some cocaine, because we don't like cops around here, man. Then you like the Facebook page."

"No, wait," he paused. "Then you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka, and THEN you like the Facebook page. Yeah, that should do it."

"Whatever you do," Terror cautioned, "don't click this link and like Mind MGMT on Facebook until you've finished all of that stuff above. It's not allowed, okay? You'll be disqualified. So don't even bother, alright?"

If you've completed all the prerequisite tasks, head on over to Mind MGMT on Facebook and like the page to be entered into the contest.

"Noooooooo!," shouted an angry Terror.


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

More articles from Jude Terror
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!