Written by Jude Terror
on Thursday, August 15 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will now hit theaters on August 8, 2014.
Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie has suffered a lot of setbacks. First it was announced that Bay was directing the film, the first strike against it. Next, it was revealed that the turtles would no longer be mutants, but rather aliens. Then it was announced that that was fucking stupid, and they went back to the regular concept. Then it was revealed that Megan Fox had made nice with Bay after previously comparing him to Hitler (which is actually apt if you consider his genocidal campaign against quality filmmaking, but that's not why she said it), and would be starring in the film as April O'Neil. Also, the movie was pushed back once, from December of this year to June 2014, and now it has been pushed back again, to August 8, 2014, causing fears that the movie might be a giant clusterfuck amongst the roughly four or five people that didn't already assume that it would be.
"We're a professional movie company that is in the business of producing movies," reassured a spokesman for Paramount Pictures. "We know that a lot of people have been wondering if maybe we were really just a bunch of escaped laboratory monkeys that somehow got their cursed paws on the reigns of a major entertainment conglomerate, but nope, we actually do this for a living."
In other news, AICN announced that they've pushed back the updating of their 1995 website design to never.
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.
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