El Presidente here, reporting from the inside of a garbage compactor whose walls are slowly causing in. Hopefully my astromech droid will get the door open before I am crushed to a bloody pulp!
My friends, I want to tell you today about a new rumor for Disney's upcoming Star Wars: Episode 7. According to Ain't It Cool News, Disney is considering pushing the release date of the movie back from May 2015 to December 2015, in order to avoid summer competition, including Disney's own Avengers: Age of Ultron. This would mark the first time a Star Wars movie was not released in May, although it wouldn't be the first time a Star Wars project came out around the holidays.
Comrades, of course I'm talking about the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special. There's nothing I could possibly say about the Star Wars Holiday Special that would be more hilarious than simply reading the factual Wikipedia article about it, so I recommend you just go do that.
If the release date is, in fact, pushed back, it would certainly give the movie more breathing room, and the "not pissing off purists" ship sailed a long time ago, so Disney can probably stop worrying about that.
Stay tuned to CubanoReview and The Outhouse for more baseless Star Wars rumors reported sensationally for the purpose of reaping unique hits.
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