Greetings comrades. It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from behind Miley Cyrus. Why? Because even a former Cuban dictator enjoys a good twerking!
My friends, I am the bearer of potentially devestating news. Christopher Nolan might be out as a producer of Superman/Batman. The rumor stems from Warner Bros. announcement of Ben Affleck's casting as Batman. In the press release, both Nolan and his wife Emma Thomas were not mentioned in the list of producers for the film.
When I conducted my own research into the rumor, my network of spies uncovered a recording of a conversation between Nolan and Affleck that could explain why he left the film.
Nolan: Okay, Ben. We're going to try some common Batman lines. I want you to say "Swear to me" in your angriest, most gravelly voice.
Affleck: Sweah ta me, ya fuckahs.
Nolan: No, the line is "Swear to me." Try it again, without the cursing or the accent this time.
Affleck: Sweah ta me, ya fuckahs. I think was like wicked pissa, don't you think?
Nolan: No, not at all. That was the opposite of wicked pissa. Try it again, without the accent. And angrier this time.
Affleck: SWEEEEEEEAH TA ME, FUCKAHS!
Nolan: Oh, fuck this, I'm out.
But don't be alarmed. This could very well just be another example of incompetence at WB. It wouldn't be the first time after all.
I shall keep you posted when more news arrives. Until then, my friends!
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About the Author - El Presidente
El Presidente gave up his position as President and Prime Minister of Cuba, as well as First Secretary of Cuba's Communist Party, in 2008 in order to concentrate on his true love: Hollywood gossip reporting. Forming the rumor website Cubano Review, El Presidente built a name for himself based on over THREE DOZEN industry credited trade scoops. Unfortunately, capitalist American trade embargoes have rendered CubanoReview.com unreachable from within the United States, forcing El Presidente to syndicate his articles to The Outhouse, which flies under the radar of the American oligarchy thanks to most leaders assuming it is a scat porn site, which, to be fair, is basically true.
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