Source: Unleash the Fanboy
Greetings, comrades! El Presidente here, reporting from inside a teddy bear costume onstage at the MTV Video Music Awards.
You know, here at CubanoReview, we get press releases all the time from movie studios eager to get some publicity for their products, but it is very rare that a competing Hollywood gossip blog will contact us and ask us to report on their rumor. However, that's what happened today, as I woke up and found an email from Unleash the Fanboy telling me about their latest Avengers: Age of Ultron rumor and encouraging me to run a story on it. I mean, sure, I get the occasional drunk text from Harry Knowles or dick pics from Rich Johnston (it's massive), but never anything like this!
My friends, I think that Unleash the Fanboy must not know that Hollywood is all about keeping score and that all competing gossip sites should be treated as enemy combatants that must be destroyed at all costs via scathing Twitter tirade. In any case, this is what they're saying:
Apparently, according to a top secret inside source that spoke to Unleash the Fanboy, Ultron will evolve from Jarvis, Tony Stark's AI program. Additionally, the source claims that Paul Bettany, who voices Jarvis in the movies, will return to voice Ultron as well. From this (supposedly) confirmed information, they go on to speculate that Jartron will try to kill Tony Stark and bang Pepper Potts, like Ultron tried to do to Hank Pym and The Wasp in the original comics. Additionally, they guess that Ulvis will exist only as an AI, and Bettany will appear in physical form as The Vision, kind of like I use my brother Raul to rule Cuba as a puppet dictator.
To punctuate the rumor, they even photoshopped a movie poster:
Ha ha ha! Good stuff. Of course, Avengers: Age of Ultron is almost two years away, so we have many months of baseless speculation ahead of us. It's good to see that we're off to a running start though. Check out the original article at Unleash the Fanboy, and stay tuned to CubanoReview, which inside sources tell me is the number one Latino-themed Hollywood gossip site on the web.
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About the Author - El Presidente
El Presidente gave up his position as President and Prime Minister of Cuba, as well as First Secretary of Cuba's Communist Party, in 2008 in order to concentrate on his true love: Hollywood gossip reporting. Forming the rumor website Cubano Review, El Presidente built a name for himself based on over THREE DOZEN industry credited trade scoops. Unfortunately, capitalist American trade embargoes have rendered CubanoReview.com unreachable from within the United States, forcing El Presidente to syndicate his articles to The Outhouse, which flies under the radar of the American oligarchy thanks to most leaders assuming it is a scat porn site, which, to be fair, is basically true.
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