Source: ThanosCopter Newswire
The decimal numeric system is a longstanding cornerstone of human civilization, which features the use of ten numbers to represent positional notation for various orders of magnitude. The modern system, occasionally known as "base ten" has been in use since the Egyptians, and the use of decimal fractions (i.e 10.1) has been in use since the Middle Ages.
However, that's all set to change with the announcement of Marvel's New Avengers #13.INH and Avengers #24.NOW. "We've always been known as the House of Ideas," said Axel Alonso, editor in chief and head mathematician of Marvel. "First we turned the Marvel Universe on its head, and now we're doing the same for modern numerical theory."
While it's unknown what the exact value of .INH and .NOW are, the announcement has the field of mathematics in an uproar. "This is a travesty!" said OSU mathematics professor James Baker. " Firstly, letters have never had a place in our numeric system. B) Consistent notations are critical for maintaining order and 3) we have no idea what the actual values are for these new decimals!"
Other industries using numbers are also on the verge of collapse after integrating the new decimals. Several banks declared their loans in default after increasing the interest rates to 4.NOW percent and not receiving immediate payments, while fights broke out at several McDonalds after the .99 cent meal was changed to .INH cent meal, and customers refused to pay with the Terrigen Mists.
Meanwhile, DC is trying to capitalize on the new decimal gimmick by introducing their own set of new decimals. Early reports indicate that the company plans to run a "Women's Month" to show their commitment to women, with all the titles receiving the decimal ".TITS" after the issue number.
"NNmmmmppphhh," said DC Co-Publisher Dan Didio, who was unable to respond to critics claiming the use of .TITS was offensive to women because his foot was lodged firmly in his mouth.
Alonso seems non-plussed about his company's role in the collapse of the traditional numeric system. "Personally, I follow a base two system of mathematics. Marvel is number one, and all other companies are zeros." He mimicked tossing a grenade into the air. "Boom! That was a binary joke, bitches!"
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About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
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