In an industry frequently made to look foolish by the carnival hucksterism of Big Two corporate marketing gimmicks, Dark Horse Comics maintains a reputation for producing quality, no-nonsense books in diverse genres that remind readers why they enjoy comics. However, some industry analysts are concerned that a new video trailer for Dark Horse's superb line of horror comics may have crossed a line between quality and sheer, unadulterated terror.
"AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!" shrieked one Dark Horse fan after viewing the trailer on his computer earlier today. "OH GOD!!! AAAGGGHHHHHHH!"
The Dark Horse Horror trailer, which hit the net earlier this week, is an advertisement for Dark Horse entire line of horror books, including Hellboy, BPRD, Criminal Macabre, Kiss Me Satan, Grindhouse, The Strain, and others. Any one of these books by themselves would make for a terrifying reading experience, but, taken together and digested through a 57 second trailer, it may prove to be far too scary for human beings to watch without being driven at least slightly insane with fear.
"I watched the trailer on Wednesday afternoon on YouTube," explained another terrified Dark Horse reader, dark rings framing her bloodshot eyes as she gripped a mug of black coffee with jittery hands. "I haven't been able to sleep since."
"I close my eyes, and I see the grotesque, deformed faces and blood-curdling monsters from the trailer, and I hear the creepy music and sound affects and... brrr-r-rrh" she shuddered. "It was a well made trailer, sure. Maybe the greatest thing I've ever seen But, man, it kinda ruined my life."
Across fandom, the story is the same. Fans eagerly click on links to the trailer, anxious to find out what new and returning series Dark Horse have coming down the pike, only to be find themselves permanently scarred by the blood-curdling, spine-chilling imagery within.
One viewer, award winning novelist and horror expert Brian Keene, reportedly plans to give up his lucrative career as a writer after watching the trailer, which he feels he will never be able to top with his own work. Keene let us know that he planned to contact Deadite Press and ask them to cease printing the recently released "Author's Preferred Edition" of City of the Dead, since he could not, in good conscience, recommend that anyone pay money to read it when they could achieve the same sense of dread in a purer form by simply watching the Dark Horse trailer for free. Fans that were hoping to get their hands on the special, uncut edition of the book are advised to grab a copy on Amazon while they last, and probably pick up a copy of The Rising Author's Preferred Edition as well, just for good measure. However, Keene warns that those readers should wait until after they're finished with the books before watching the trailer, which will surely ruin their enjoyment of all other present and future products in the genre.
After all this commotion, the only thing left to wonder about is who could be behind this artistic coup de grâce, which defies the common perception in fandom that trailers for comic books always come off goofy and amateurish and that comic book companies should stick to making comics and leave the animation to professionals.
"They tell me to make spooky video," said unpaid Dark Horse Digital Promotions intern Vlad Kozinkerov, who recently nearly bankrupted Marvel when he produced a trailer for their latest super-mega-crossover event, Infinity. "So that is what I do."
Check out the Dark Horse Horror trailer below, and then, if you haven't died of fright, you can go to DarkHorse.com and pick up the FREE Dark Horse Horror 2013 Digital Sampler to check out all these upcoming series for yourself.
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