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Woman Inappropriately Handles Snake in New American Horror Story Teaser

Written by Jude Terror on Wednesday, September 18 2013 and posted in News with Benefits

Woman Inappropriately Handles Snake in New American Horror Story Teaser

We're tired of these mother... nah, not gonna say it.

Animal lovers and people who don't like to get bit in the fucking mouth by snakes were horrified yesterday when a new trailer for the FX horror anthology show American Horror Story hit the web. The teaser is the latest in a series released by FX to promote the show's witch-centric third season, titled Coven, which begins on Wednesday, October 9th. The video shows a woman handling a snake in what we believe is an extremely inappropriate manner, but because we're journalists, we checked with an expert to make sure we get the facts straight.

"She does what with the snake?" asked an exacerbated Dr. Thaddeus T. Puffinbottoms, Head of the Reptology Department at the prestigious University of Phoenix. "Oh, no, no, you should definitely never let a snake crawl entirely into your mouth."

We thought so.

"That would be very hazardous and unsanitary for the snake," he continued.

Say what?

"The human mouth can contain hundreds of different types of bacteria," Puffinbottoms explained, assuring us this fact was not hastily looked up on Wikipedia. "In addition, the snake may become lodged in the thorax, which I am relatively certain is an actual part of the throat, and could experience pain or death by asphyxiation."

Well, there you have it. So check out the teaser, but remember that this type of behavior is completely unsafe, so please don't try it, and, if you do, don't post the YouTube video of it on our Facebook page. It would be very irresponsible of us to encourage our users to do something like that, so we're not doing it.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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